Stories - FD Thornton

Image: Adobe Firefly   When I opened the curtains this morning all I could see was a shabby reflection of myself staring back at me. Gone was my clean shaven face and my combed back hair. And what stood before me was a shaggy faced, uncombed haired old man, in an oversized sweatshirt and mixed matched sweatpants. I looked like an aging frat boy dragging his way to an early morning class, looking about as good as I felt. But that pink strip at the bottom of the skyline was finally giving way to a questionable blue/gray skyline. That hadn’t made up its mind yet, rather it was going to be cloudy or sunny. Feeling like I had something caught in my throat, I cleared the passageway with a grumpy old man cough. But with my gummy vitamins melting in my mouth, I felt like a kid again being rewarded for taking his medicine. Life has a funny way of reminding you of who you are. Rather you’re an office manager, a store clerk, or a Wall Street tycoon. Each day you put your pants on one leg at...

  With supper going and the window cracked open, I’m watching the sunset on another chilly day in South Georgia. I wrote a little story this morning but didn’t publish it, so after printing up about 50 pages of forms I need to fill out. I spent the rest of the day laying on the bed with a heating pad and comforter, doom scrolling the day away. Sitting here now, I swear I can hear kids out at the playground, but I may be wrong. It’s hard to tell with my wife’s TV blaring in the living room.     But such as it is in the life of a man on disability and retirement. Living on a fixed income with most of whatever I saved going to pay old hospital bills and for such luxuries as groceries. But I really don’t mean to be so cynical, it’s just a defensive posture I’ve developed over the years to protect my sanity. But given my history of mental illness, you can see how far that has gotten me.   I don’t mind talking about myself and my many faults, unlike a number of th...

  It’s a bit anti-climactic to spend all this time sorting through my pill bottles, then cutting pills to be divided up, and put into smaller pill bottles. Only to take a few seconds to swallow down the morning’s half and be done with it. I mean you don’t even get to lay back and enjoy a cigarette. You just get up and chew your vitamins then start your day. My Sunday started like most, I was woke up, checked my messages, and called my father-in-law. But with my coffee about gone, it is it’s usual gray and cloudy sky outside, with temperatures in the upper 30’s. I ain’t feeling much any particular way today, I mean after all it’s still morning. Pretty much everyone was prepared for a 45” coating of ice according to the local weather people. Hope they got those car dealers and lawyer ads their money’s worth scaring the Great-Grandmas to death, but I digress. Now with a fresh cup of hot coffee in my hand, I can get down to what I wanted to say. Which is nothing. It’s Sunday mornin...

  After an evening of heavy priestly confessions and a late night of deep sleep, I woke up a bit dazed and confused. For one I ain’t completely woke up yet, even after a hot shower and shave. But the curtains and windows are open, and the crisp cool air is filling my study. My poor old candle has about seen its better days while the sun slowly creeps toward the first windowpane. Then I had to stop writing for a moment to go rescue my stranded adult child that locked their keys in their car.       Anyway I’m about woke up now after listening to my youngin go on about a mile a minute about them and their spouses five-year-plan. It’s kinda funny to me to hear that sort of thing now considering I’m doing good to make moment by moment plans. If there’s one thing I’ve learn in over 60+ years of breathing, it’s that nothing is guaranteed. Ten years ago if you were to tell me that I would be sitting here reasonably healthy. When I had five IVs going at once in the Pulmon...

Sandra Saxon Burnsed   It’s nearly eleven o’clock in the morning, I just got through editing and publishing a piece I wrote a few days back. Other than that, I went to sleep early last night feeling cold and icky, even before the game went off. Last night’s sleep was rough and filled with stress dreams about being dirty from working all night. With no way to shower or a clean change of clothes. So I woke up with that same exhausted feeling, with no motivation to get out of bed.   The story I worked on when I made it to the study was ironically about having a good morning watching the early morning sky. Thankfully, I didn’t let my attitude from this morning cloud my earlier optimistic mood. So now I’m left with my present middle of the month feelings, of upcoming bills and pure boredom. But as you may have figured out already, I use you as my priestly confessional. Often telling you my sad tales of chronic depression and poverty, if for nothing else, to make your own lives se...

  I’m about done with my Sunday morning chores. I got the sheets off the bed to wash, got my medicine took, lite my candle, cracked opened windows (to let out evil spirits), and called my father-in-law (to check on some old evil spirits). But seriously there’s been a steady rain last night and the weatherman has been promising me snow all week. About 0.02” to be exact. You can stop laughing now all my snow bound bird friends up North. But the rain has made the stale air of a Southern Winter smell a little sweeter, so thanks Canada for that. While the final rinse on the washer sounds like a jet fighter shutting down. The breeze outside is picking up, but still no flakes. But just like a humid summer’s day is to a Canadian, a little accumulation of snow or ice is kryptonite to a Southerner. So while we laugh, we both know our limitations. Funny how life usually even’s things out in the end, knowing our weakness’ and our adaptability. So in conclusion let us all have a good belly ...

  Still a little weary from yesterday’s rot. My brain is still unloading the damaged files of my life. I just got back from the barber shop getting my son and myself a much-needed haircut. So I’m sitting here with a little smell-good on my neck listening to someone down the road with a back-up horn beeping away. After a healthy, normal conversation at the barber shop about grandbabies, old sugar cane mills, and pea shellers, it was nice to have a pointless conversation face-to-face with strangers. It reminds me of the long summer days swatting gnats and talking bullshit around the cabins back at Uncle Shed’s Fishcamp. Even back in the 70’s and the 80’s it was a trip back in time to a place where city folk could rent a cabin, a john boat, a paddle, and even tackle to fish on the Ogeechee River. By the time I got there, there were still a few people renting cabins or using the boat ramp to put out. So the conversations were varied and lively, talked with old friends of the campgrou...

  I caught wind of a sweet scent coming from the window. Being that it is early January I highly doubt it being a flower. Maybe it’s the lingering perfume of our neighbor walking her dog. Or maybe it’s just me after taking a hot shower. Who knows? But it was a pleasant scent all the same. There it is again, dancing on the tip of my nose. Reminding me that no matter how grey the sky is, there’s always a scent of optimism lingering in the air. It’s what I try to find on most mornings when my mind hasn’t already been invaded by the fear that often overtakes our day. By finding that quiet space, rather through prayer or meditation, the sincerity of the moment overcomes the fear. While sitting here I had to switch my legs for a moment. My left leg felt hyper-extended so switching them over eased the pain. Not much different than when life’s learned habits begin to strain and it’s time to do something different. So while my pleasant little nose tease remains a mystery. I don’t worry ...

Military Base in Venezuela    I woke up early this morning reading the news in the NYT (that heathen leftist newspaper). In it I read about some of the questionable actions our leadership has taken overseas. Along with the tragedy in Switzerland and an article on H1B visas and the potential harm in closing them down. (You know the normal leftist liberal faire). But here in America you take the good with the bad, because that’s the rules we are supposed to play by. But for many of my nationalist brothers and sisters, the road to freedom is paved with a “my way or the highway attitude”.  Blindly following a very specific set of rules that the constitution protects against. But I digress, you think what you want to think. Just as long as you’re not stomping on my flowers that my no trespassing sign tells you not to do. We are a country of laws and not just personal opinions. But is nice to know that certain rules can be changed if they are deemed wrong. So take from t...

  After dropping my pills and drinking my magic potion that keeps my poop stuck together. I stared out the window for a moment at the same glaring bright sun I did yesterday. I watched thousands of people in Times Square watch a glass ball drop to announce a New Year with a bunch of folks kissing and singing an old song they didn’t know the words to and then walk away. Outside I heard fireworks going off for the next half hour then it all seemed to go silent. While my wife lay next to me fast asleep. So here I am on this New Year’s Day with one bird chirping outside the window and hangover cast of Good Morning America talking through the walls. Beneath my computer monitor is a couple of bracelets I used to wear. One with glass beads and a craved blue turtle and another with wooden blocks with my children’s initials on them. Along with two glass turtles I brought at the Turtle Center years ago. All surrounded by various prescription drugs I stated and stopped taking over the past ...