Posts

Lose Your Footing

Image
  With the taste of my two gummy vitamins fresh in my mouth, I notice how the temperature this morning is creeping up. So with a cup of decaf and a bottle of water I prepare my body for another hot and sunny spring day. My young buddy on the sidewalk waiting for his ride and the one lone cat hanging around his feet are my only entertainment as the morning sun casts its shadow on the 100 Building next door. I go through my normal itching and nose blowing in-between typing out nonsense until my point is made. But what is the point? Writing without any set goal or reason other than to hear myself think makes for a pretty dull morning sometimes. So as it is for today, as the young man catches his ride and it’s only me and the black and white cat lying on the lawn. With no purpose, no focus, and in a way no home. Another sip of decaf through the straw tells me there’s a story to tell in that. Of how we focus on things, and obsess about things we cannot control. Like other people’s att...
Post a Comment
Read more

Going To Do About It

Image
Finally Got A Haircut   Going To Do About It At 63 years old, nothing really surprises me anymore. Which in a way makes life kinda dull, but you take the good with the bad. Well yesterday afternoon while at a convenience store I was in line behind a rather unhealthy fellow not much younger than myself. He was buying a tall can of a Red Bull type of energy drink, which he immediately opened. Not having the right to judge considering my current state of unhealthiness, I felt bad for him considering I was in the same state a mere ten years ago. Back then I was an overweight, smoking, diabetic, that was totally stressed out. It took an act of fate and sheer luck to straighten me out. I am by no means perfect, I still need to lose about 50 more pounds, but I track my health religiously, I don’t smoke, and I stay away from caffeine. I still have irreparable damage to my heart, liver, back, and lungs but I get by. I suppose my thought on all this is that I was given a second chance, a...
Post a Comment
Read more

Funny

Image
  Staring once again at the blinking cursor gives me a momentary frill cause I never know what the next words are going to be. Staring out into the quiet blue sky, the apartment across the way seems so peaceful. Painted light green with white trim, it looks like a large family home in any modern suburb. With iron fencing around the property with a picnic area and a playground, it looks so inviting. Yesterday afternoon we signed our second year lease with the same apartment we signed our first lease. In between the property was managed and maintained by another company we hardly ever saw. But starting last month our old manager and maintenance man came back after what I could guess was a crappy year of managing. I guess even in the world of corporate housing, good help is hard to find, when wanting to turn a profit. But enough about profit margins and shareholders dividends the world is so much more than greed and return on investment. Funny that for nearly three years of my lif...
Post a Comment
Read more

Good Morning

Image
George the Duck   Had another hard night sleeping till I woke up around 4:30 this morning. Then around 6:00 the phone kept pinging repeatedly by my “Waljacked Shopper” asking about substitutes on my order. Other than that, I’m not the snotty mess I was yesterday, I think the replenishing of lost fluids did the trick. While part of me thinks it’s way too early to be doing any high functioning thinking this morning, the more cynical side of me reminds me there’s never too much high functioning going on anyway. So with all my Southern Baptist charm, let me extend to you a “Good Morning, Ya’ll!”. I can’t seem to get my mind out of the future tense. Meaning my mind is focused on things that are to take place down the road and not right now. I doubt I have to tell you how that can create mistakes in the moment, much less anxiety about the future. But with my already hyped up brain planning as it does. I can’t help but worry about the logistics of an upcoming medical procedure I am goin...
Post a Comment
Read more

Compromise

Image
  After a little too much “Thump, Thump” from the parking lot last night, I finally went to sleep. I was then awakened by the ding on my phone with the bank telling me I wasn’t broke… yet. Getting up did a little manly maintenance then started my day. I thought about heading to the local state park, till I realized it’s the day before Easter and thought better of it. It’s not that I mind hearing little youngins hunting Easter eggs, as much as it’s the glare I get from the parents. All wondering what a old fat white guy is doing in the park all alone staring at their kids. I can’t say I blame them though, cause I would do the same thing. Anywho, I’m sitting here at my desk enjoying the relative quiet of the morning. Watching my neighbors shuffling back and too from the apartment building next door. I just got through posting the last story I worked on, and my mind isn’t really in any headspace. Just letting the noise of the box fan absorb the clutter, allowing these words to flow ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Too Busy

Image
Adobe Stock   After hours of navigating construction zones and oversized loads, I finally made it home. We signed paperwork for a young woman who hasn’t found herself yet, with a large tabby cat and a boyfriend wanting babies. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that at 64 I still ain’t figured nothing out. So I gave her the same old stick about my overachieving kids, leaving out the parts where I couldn’t help them one bit. Why spoil the life of a bright eyed kid, full of potential and student debt. I remember sitting in classrooms with young people, with so much hope and energy, while me and the instructors would laugh under our breath. Now as my own children settle into middle age, even their overachieving minds can’t help but see the doom and the greed. Just like my grandparents probably thought to themselves, energy and ambition is wasted on youth. So I sit here too tired to even make myself a sandwich or watch my soaps. Busy typing out thoughts that only a handful of you ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Lights Stay On!

Image
Adobe Stock   Nothing can kill your inspiration quite like trying to pay bills while “robbing Peter to pay Paul”. All day today I’ve found myself playing “Wack-A-Mole” with utility bills, apartment rent, and loan payments. All while trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip, as my Grandma would say. Even now with most every option and angle worked out, I still find my head spinning with the wheeling and dealing I’ve had to do. But to my average reader I ain’t telling you anything you don’t already know. It’s just when you think you’re three moves ahead, something new comes along that drags you back to the starting gun. I hate talking about money, I wish my life by now were comfortable enough that what I made would be enough. But it never is, is it? Light bulbs go from costing $1 a piece to $4 with a promise of costing you least. To buying a pretty new shiny light up keyboard to help the strain on your glaucoma-laden eyes. I know I picked a shitty time to write anything right now, b...
Post a Comment
Read more