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Allow Us To Live

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 Staring in the mirror I don’t take too long to think. Because if I do, I’ll reflect too long on the wrinkles and grey hair that now cover that once youthful smile. Still I laugh at the thought of all the time I spent just being busy and not appreciating the moments as they came. But for the last 30 years, I’ve been forced to think and appreciate such things. But still the mask remains secure, holding in the thoughts of stillness and calm. Only displaying the wit and the showmanship that has been my life. ​So I sit here with the curtains drawn to the afternoon sun. Debating with myself about the words I wish to say. Knowing dreams are but subconscious emotion playing out in my head, wishing for more but getting less. So I leave myself asking this question, which one of me is truly me? The joking, wisecracking, happy-go-lucky fellow you see? Or the reflective man you read about behind these drawn curtains? I dare not answer that question, at least not out loud. For each of us is n...
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Your Audience

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 That damn blinking cursor is taunting me again, staring at me with its blink-a-d-blink little self. But that’s okay, I just laugh at its power over me. While I continue to type the gibberish that eventually turns into words, that turns into statements of truth. I talk to a few budding writers out there and a lot of them compliment me on my style and the things I write about. It picks me up believe me, especially for a guy with no wealth to speak of. For my writing at the most has bought me a decent dinner or two over the years. But the main thing we writers always come to is the subject and the material. Which is funny to me because my main subject is usually myself. I mean, what easier or lazier thing can you write about other than yourself? But still my limited audience expects that or wants nothing else. So I dilly-dally about writing my little 300+ word salads every day, for the benefit of no one other than myself. And you know what? Maybe that’s the key to good writing, ent...
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Learn To Walk

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  Done with all the usual. The vitamin gummy tastes good in my mouth after a job well done. Yesterday morning, I went to my Family NP to get an official blood pressure reading and some bloodwork done to check on my new medication and my lightheadedness. Well, the results came back, confirming her suspicions and diagnosis. So now, it’s just a waiting game and a bit more of being very careful when I move about. I hate sounding a bit paranoid about my health, but I am. However, I do my best not to water those seeds of fear as I used to in years past. By living in the present moment, there is a certain degree of awareness concerning your health and wellness. It’s not that I don’t fear death, but I’m also not ignorant of my quality of life. So, I do my best to keep myself as healthy as I can given my current situation. Life is about awareness and the quality of life you live. None of us want to be uncomfortable, I’m sure, but at what cost do we pursue that level of comfort? Over the...
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Long Gone?

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The Old Sycamore Trees  Maybe it’s a little too soon to start another life post, but for the better part of the morning I’m going to be arguing with two pharmacies over who gets my prescriptions. So while I’m in a hopeful frame of mind I thought I would at least start this story. This morning began like most stories, only this time I slept through the night, and my bride was the one that kept waking up. I told her I hadn’t noticed her getting up, in which she replied with a snarky, “I know!”, and thus began my peaceful morning. The neighborhood cat is hanging outside the neighbors window this morning. Apparently ignoring my mental pleads of “Good Morning”. But I shrugged it off as just another cat picking and choosing their victim for the moment. But isn’t that how most of us deal with who we want to deal with, and who we don’t. For a moment I caught the smell of wild honeysuckles across my nose. As if to remind me of my old yard and the scents I caught on the old park trail. Spe...
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Busting Something

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  Chewing on my vitamin gummies, after taking a shower and downing my pills. A neighbor from the other building takes her little Frenchie out for a walk. While a daddy follows behind a toddler chasing the neighborhood cat who gladly stops and welcomes a rub. As for me I’m stuck behind these four walls much like McCartney, but stranded by my own choice. Now Granny, who am I kidding, Great-Granny has finished walking the dog and the cat from yesterday is stretched out on the sidewalk. Wearing my new uniform of a green plaid oxford shirt, an orange t-shirt, and grey shorts. I sit behind my table pretending to know the next thing I’m going to say. With little to no imagination I press the keys to entertain no one other than myself through a morning of anticipation and grace. Before I got out of bed I heard the anger of a new friend against a newly remade app. Listening to their frustration as my “Good Morning!” to them was being sent. But I understand the situation, for I have them ma...
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Have A Nice Day

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Recent Child's Drawing from Ukraine   Chewing on my gummies is a sweet little treat after popping, breaking, and mixing all the other medicines I take each morning. Outside it is a bright blue morning compared to yesterday, but considerably cooler, thank God. It is a brisk 44° f and believe me I ain’t complaining especially after our two-week summer blast. We only have a few more weeks before my little ceiling stumpers will be out of school for the summer. So I better enjoy these last few weekdays of quiet while I can. It is a bit funny how the weeks, months, even years slip through your fingers like sand as you age. And where last month seemed to last for two, this month is already halfway done. But I don’t complain too much considering my life has been reduced to just adult care and housekeeping, where it used to be daycare, adult care, cooking, cleaning, housekeeping, and an outside job. But Lord knows I ain’t patting myself on the head, for one their are hundreds of tho...
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Take Care Of Yourself

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  Well let’s see how this mornings going to turn out. Woke up about normal time, I slept through the night, did my normal morning business, and took my pills. Then I got my glucose meter ready by pulling it out of the bag and assembling the lancet and pulling out a test strip. I inserted the test strip into the meter, then shot the lancet into my finger, and yes I wiped with an alcohol pad. Then put the meter to the blood droplet and within a few seconds got my reading. I know all this is old school tech considering all the new fancy wearable meters out there. But when your Medicaid won’t pay for a fancy new meter you get what you can afford. So before you moan and cry about it, I’ve been doing it this way for well over 30 years, so I don’t even feel it anymore. But these are the sacrifices we make for good health. For 30 years I haven’t had to go on the insulin shots like my parents. I still take a combo of metformin and another product, and my GP is happy with my A1C, so why ch...
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