Stories - FD Thornton

 That damn blinking cursor is taunting me again, staring at me with its blink-a-d-blink little self. But that’s okay, I just laugh at its power over me. While I continue to type the gibberish that eventually turns into words, that turns into statements of truth. I talk to a few budding writers out there and a lot of them compliment me on my style and the things I write about. It picks me up believe me, especially for a guy with no wealth to speak of. For my writing at the most has bought me a decent dinner or two over the years. But the main thing we writers always come to is the subject and the material. Which is funny to me because my main subject is usually myself. I mean, what easier or lazier thing can you write about other than yourself? But still my limited audience expects that or wants nothing else. So I dilly-dally about writing my little 300+ word salads every day, for the benefit of no one other than myself. And you know what? Maybe that’s the key to good writing, ent...

  Done with all the usual. The vitamin gummy tastes good in my mouth after a job well done. Yesterday morning, I went to my Family NP to get an official blood pressure reading and some bloodwork done to check on my new medication and my lightheadedness. Well, the results came back, confirming her suspicions and diagnosis. So now, it’s just a waiting game and a bit more of being very careful when I move about. I hate sounding a bit paranoid about my health, but I am. However, I do my best not to water those seeds of fear as I used to in years past. By living in the present moment, there is a certain degree of awareness concerning your health and wellness. It’s not that I don’t fear death, but I’m also not ignorant of my quality of life. So, I do my best to keep myself as healthy as I can given my current situation. Life is about awareness and the quality of life you live. None of us want to be uncomfortable, I’m sure, but at what cost do we pursue that level of comfort? Over the...

The Old Sycamore Trees  Maybe it’s a little too soon to start another life post, but for the better part of the morning I’m going to be arguing with two pharmacies over who gets my prescriptions. So while I’m in a hopeful frame of mind I thought I would at least start this story. This morning began like most stories, only this time I slept through the night, and my bride was the one that kept waking up. I told her I hadn’t noticed her getting up, in which she replied with a snarky, “I know!”, and thus began my peaceful morning. The neighborhood cat is hanging outside the neighbors window this morning. Apparently ignoring my mental pleads of “Good Morning”. But I shrugged it off as just another cat picking and choosing their victim for the moment. But isn’t that how most of us deal with who we want to deal with, and who we don’t. For a moment I caught the smell of wild honeysuckles across my nose. As if to remind me of my old yard and the scents I caught on the old park trail. Spe...

  Chewing on my vitamin gummies, after taking a shower and downing my pills. A neighbor from the other building takes her little Frenchie out for a walk. While a daddy follows behind a toddler chasing the neighborhood cat who gladly stops and welcomes a rub. As for me I’m stuck behind these four walls much like McCartney, but stranded by my own choice. Now Granny, who am I kidding, Great-Granny has finished walking the dog and the cat from yesterday is stretched out on the sidewalk. Wearing my new uniform of a green plaid oxford shirt, an orange t-shirt, and grey shorts. I sit behind my table pretending to know the next thing I’m going to say. With little to no imagination I press the keys to entertain no one other than myself through a morning of anticipation and grace. Before I got out of bed I heard the anger of a new friend against a newly remade app. Listening to their frustration as my “Good Morning!” to them was being sent. But I understand the situation, for I have them ma...

Recent Child's Drawing from Ukraine   Chewing on my gummies is a sweet little treat after popping, breaking, and mixing all the other medicines I take each morning. Outside it is a bright blue morning compared to yesterday, but considerably cooler, thank God. It is a brisk 44° f and believe me I ain’t complaining especially after our two-week summer blast. We only have a few more weeks before my little ceiling stumpers will be out of school for the summer. So I better enjoy these last few weekdays of quiet while I can. It is a bit funny how the weeks, months, even years slip through your fingers like sand as you age. And where last month seemed to last for two, this month is already halfway done. But I don’t complain too much considering my life has been reduced to just adult care and housekeeping, where it used to be daycare, adult care, cooking, cleaning, housekeeping, and an outside job. But Lord knows I ain’t patting myself on the head, for one their are hundreds of tho...

  Well let’s see how this mornings going to turn out. Woke up about normal time, I slept through the night, did my normal morning business, and took my pills. Then I got my glucose meter ready by pulling it out of the bag and assembling the lancet and pulling out a test strip. I inserted the test strip into the meter, then shot the lancet into my finger, and yes I wiped with an alcohol pad. Then put the meter to the blood droplet and within a few seconds got my reading. I know all this is old school tech considering all the new fancy wearable meters out there. But when your Medicaid won’t pay for a fancy new meter you get what you can afford. So before you moan and cry about it, I’ve been doing it this way for well over 30 years, so I don’t even feel it anymore. But these are the sacrifices we make for good health. For 30 years I haven’t had to go on the insulin shots like my parents. I still take a combo of metformin and another product, and my GP is happy with my A1C, so why ch...

  With the taste of my two gummy vitamins fresh in my mouth, I notice how the temperature this morning is creeping up. So with a cup of decaf and a bottle of water I prepare my body for another hot and sunny spring day. My young buddy on the sidewalk waiting for his ride and the one lone cat hanging around his feet are my only entertainment as the morning sun casts its shadow on the 100 Building next door. I go through my normal itching and nose blowing in-between typing out nonsense until my point is made. But what is the point? Writing without any set goal or reason other than to hear myself think makes for a pretty dull morning sometimes. So as it is for today, as the young man catches his ride and it’s only me and the black and white cat lying on the lawn. With no purpose, no focus, and in a way no home. Another sip of decaf through the straw tells me there’s a story to tell in that. Of how we focus on things, and obsess about things we cannot control. Like other people’s att...

Finally Got A Haircut   Going To Do About It At 63 years old, nothing really surprises me anymore. Which in a way makes life kinda dull, but you take the good with the bad. Well yesterday afternoon while at a convenience store I was in line behind a rather unhealthy fellow not much younger than myself. He was buying a tall can of a Red Bull type of energy drink, which he immediately opened. Not having the right to judge considering my current state of unhealthiness, I felt bad for him considering I was in the same state a mere ten years ago. Back then I was an overweight, smoking, diabetic, that was totally stressed out. It took an act of fate and sheer luck to straighten me out. I am by no means perfect, I still need to lose about 50 more pounds, but I track my health religiously, I don’t smoke, and I stay away from caffeine. I still have irreparable damage to my heart, liver, back, and lungs but I get by. I suppose my thought on all this is that I was given a second chance, a...

  Staring once again at the blinking cursor gives me a momentary frill cause I never know what the next words are going to be. Staring out into the quiet blue sky, the apartment across the way seems so peaceful. Painted light green with white trim, it looks like a large family home in any modern suburb. With iron fencing around the property with a picnic area and a playground, it looks so inviting. Yesterday afternoon we signed our second year lease with the same apartment we signed our first lease. In between the property was managed and maintained by another company we hardly ever saw. But starting last month our old manager and maintenance man came back after what I could guess was a crappy year of managing. I guess even in the world of corporate housing, good help is hard to find, when wanting to turn a profit. But enough about profit margins and shareholders dividends the world is so much more than greed and return on investment. Funny that for nearly three years of my lif...

George the Duck   Had another hard night sleeping till I woke up around 4:30 this morning. Then around 6:00 the phone kept pinging repeatedly by my “Waljacked Shopper” asking about substitutes on my order. Other than that, I’m not the snotty mess I was yesterday, I think the replenishing of lost fluids did the trick. While part of me thinks it’s way too early to be doing any high functioning thinking this morning, the more cynical side of me reminds me there’s never too much high functioning going on anyway. So with all my Southern Baptist charm, let me extend to you a “Good Morning, Ya’ll!”. I can’t seem to get my mind out of the future tense. Meaning my mind is focused on things that are to take place down the road and not right now. I doubt I have to tell you how that can create mistakes in the moment, much less anxiety about the future. But with my already hyped up brain planning as it does. I can’t help but worry about the logistics of an upcoming medical procedure I am goin...

  After a little too much “Thump, Thump” from the parking lot last night, I finally went to sleep. I was then awakened by the ding on my phone with the bank telling me I wasn’t broke… yet. Getting up did a little manly maintenance then started my day. I thought about heading to the local state park, till I realized it’s the day before Easter and thought better of it. It’s not that I mind hearing little youngins hunting Easter eggs, as much as it’s the glare I get from the parents. All wondering what a old fat white guy is doing in the park all alone staring at their kids. I can’t say I blame them though, cause I would do the same thing. Anywho, I’m sitting here at my desk enjoying the relative quiet of the morning. Watching my neighbors shuffling back and too from the apartment building next door. I just got through posting the last story I worked on, and my mind isn’t really in any headspace. Just letting the noise of the box fan absorb the clutter, allowing these words to flow ...

Adobe Stock   After hours of navigating construction zones and oversized loads, I finally made it home. We signed paperwork for a young woman who hasn’t found herself yet, with a large tabby cat and a boyfriend wanting babies. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that at 64 I still ain’t figured nothing out. So I gave her the same old stick about my overachieving kids, leaving out the parts where I couldn’t help them one bit. Why spoil the life of a bright eyed kid, full of potential and student debt. I remember sitting in classrooms with young people, with so much hope and energy, while me and the instructors would laugh under our breath. Now as my own children settle into middle age, even their overachieving minds can’t help but see the doom and the greed. Just like my grandparents probably thought to themselves, energy and ambition is wasted on youth. So I sit here too tired to even make myself a sandwich or watch my soaps. Busy typing out thoughts that only a handful of you ...

Adobe Stock   Nothing can kill your inspiration quite like trying to pay bills while “robbing Peter to pay Paul”. All day today I’ve found myself playing “Wack-A-Mole” with utility bills, apartment rent, and loan payments. All while trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip, as my Grandma would say. Even now with most every option and angle worked out, I still find my head spinning with the wheeling and dealing I’ve had to do. But to my average reader I ain’t telling you anything you don’t already know. It’s just when you think you’re three moves ahead, something new comes along that drags you back to the starting gun. I hate talking about money, I wish my life by now were comfortable enough that what I made would be enough. But it never is, is it? Light bulbs go from costing $1 a piece to $4 with a promise of costing you least. To buying a pretty new shiny light up keyboard to help the strain on your glaucoma-laden eyes. I know I picked a shitty time to write anything right now, b...

  For us it’s a Red Flag Day, which for us has nothing to do with the coast. But has everything to do with low humidity, high winds, and fire warnings in the area. But looking outside I don’t see anything but low hanging grey clouds and wind. But the forecast calls for partly cloudy skies and high winds, so there’s a risk for fire. Yesterday our youngest child began moving in some of his stuff from his former residence. So by the first of the month we’ll be one packed in family again. I can already see the strain creeping in, the outward disrespect he has for his mother and older brother. Traits that irritated me in the old house and I plan on stopping in the new house. The biggest irritant will we loosing my office and moving all my shit into the bedroom. So no more view of the pecan grove and hello to the apartment across the way. I’ll miss my morning sun, but I won’t miss the glare. It’s just a shame the morning view and opened windows will be lost to black out curtains and sing...

  I didn’t want to wake up in a foul mood. In fact I went to sleep after watching the only show my wife and I watch together. But around 3:30 in the morning I was awakened by the most realistic dream I’ve had in a while. It was so real that I’d rather not talk about it for fear of it coming true. Anyway knowing I had to get up to make a doctor’s appointment this morning, I tried to go back to bed. When I finally did go back to bed around 5:00, I woke up again to another more fantasy based dream. With the weather foggy as hell outside, I have some two hours before the appointment. So I hope by then to clear the cobwebs before heading to another boring 3-month checkup. After putting together my wife’s pill dispensers for the week, I make note of the pills she forgot to take for each day. I know I should keep up better with her pill count, but with that and planning and preparing the meals. Then making sure all of our son’s needs are met, I then have to make room for all of the othe...

  I watch the wind twist the branches of a young sapling embedded in the pecan tree, while the sun brightens to the golden hue of dawn. I hear the calls of a morning dove mixing with the morning traffic and flushing of upstairs toilets. Not everything can be the quiet call of the morning. So things are the compromises we make in order to live in a civil society. But if you exist long enough, those noises become nothing more than the background noise of life. As I sit at my desk the sun’s glow stretches out across the study walls, reflecting off the beige paint onto the black screen. But I don’t mind, it’s all just a part of my morning routine. Today is inspection day, where all the apartments receive an annual cleanliness inspection. Which basically amounts to checking to see if you have any drug paraphernalia or at the very least, see that your apartment don’t smell like weed. Which I feel is kind of silly, since the breezeway smells like a pot dispensary. But the things you put...

  For whatever reason, I’ve gotten into the habit of taking selfies of myself. I know I’m about thirty years too late to jump on the bandwagon of that fad. But I figured, why not? For far too long I had/have such a poor self-image of myself, I figured what a better way to break that taboo than to take a selfie. So above the story is my latest selfie, wearing a favorite pink shirt, comfortable teal T-shirt. Although you can’t see them I’m wearing grey sweats and my favorite tie on sneakers. If you notice on my wrist are two bracelets, one I made with my kids initials and another that tracks sea turtles. I normally don’t wear the bracelets much anymore, they usually stay on my desk. But today with the sort of island vibe my clothes were giving off, I figured I’d put them on. Even though I’m some 100 miles away from any ocean. I don’t swim, I have a primal fear of water. Something I’m sure I’ll carry till the day I die. I respect the water, and I’ve ridden a many a mile on transport...

Google Gemini Here we are again in the middle of the night. Buried beneath the covers of the bed, with my bride gently snoring by my side. After a day of quiet tension I did my best to keep myself hidden. Away from the glaring lights of reality for most of the day. But after the lights went out, I buried my head into the conclusion of an audio book. That unexpectedly triggered some past and present trauma I thought I could avoid. I don’t blame the book, a recent autobiography that deals with a lot of physical and mental abuse. But still I kinda thought I had gotten over most of that, but listening to someone else’s truth showed me a mirror into some of that trauma still hidden within me. Still I pressed on and finished the audiobook knowing it had an encouraging ending. It’s just interesting to see how the seeds of your own dark past can be replanted from just a reflection. But like I said, I can’t blame the book for all of it. I walked into this situation already watering those seed...

  What spiritual power, if any, pulls the soul down to the lowest of lows? Some might say your sign is in retrograde, or that God Almighty is just teaching you another lesson, or that your chakras are out of alignment once again. Each one would entail that you as a person are weak and fell out of grace with whatever you believe. But after 27 years of being diagnosed with chronic depression, GAD, and a myriad of other mental illnesses, I choose to believe that it’s more than just another bad day. Or that somehow the gods are upset with me. Being the cognitive creatures that we are, we love to find a label for everything. But sometimes even the deeper sciences can’t explain the mental warfare going on in our heads. Is it environment or genetics that causes us to be bat shit crazy sometimes? But why can’t it be both. I feel the environment along with inherited physical traits have brought me to this point in my life. And before you start to pity me and say, “I’m glad my genes aren’t t...

  The sun takes flight above a sea of grey thunderous skies, while the tornado warning of the past few hours fades away. Opening the windows to my study I see the wind swirling in the branches, while birds come out to sing their songs. I’ve lived through tornados and hurricanes and the feeling the air presses on your chest and ain’t feeling any of that at the moment. So I guzzle down my witches brew and focus my ears on the sound of the field birds outside. Other than that it’s eerily quiet for a mid-week morning. The highway hardly makes a sound as my bride unloads the dish washer into the cabinets and drawers. Still an unfamiliar routine I have trouble wrapping my head around, considering the shotgun shack we lived in for ten years. But I do miss the openness and the backyard still, while the modern conveniences of hot running water more than compensate. It’s funny how life changes, yet often stays the same. My backyard now consists of a boundary fence overlooking a field of ...

 I didn’t realize until this morning that we had two Friday the 13 th in a row this year. I knew something was wrong with this year; but that doesn’t matter, this morning it is sunny and chill and outside life is just humming along down the Golden Isles Parkway. Also with the light breeze I can smell the scents of Spring after the pollen got knocked loose. With its aroma of freshness  that Glade or Febreze can’t quite copy. I’m sitting here in my frumpy old baggy golf shirt and sweatpants. The obvious uniform of a retiree with little money for new clothes. But wearing these things brings me some joy in the fact that a mere 10 years ago, I stretched this shirt and these pants to their load bearing limit. And while I have gained a few pounds back, let’s say the digestive issues did their job. Other than that, I’m in a pretty good mood with the sun shining and the world not seeming to be too bad around here. But it’s easy to isolate yourself when you live in such a work-driv...

  I‘ve been writing a shit ton lately but none of it I’ve felt much like publishing. While I’m usually not afraid of exposing myself in word, lately I’ve been more inclined to just keep things to myself. I suppose most storytellers go through that, especially if you run out of things to say. But to be honest, it’s not like I’ve run out of thoughts. As much as those thoughts I’ve been thinking might be a bit disturbing to some people’s ears. So I’m doing what my Grandma Thornton taught me and just keeping my mouth shut.   Living in a world of psychobabble and instant answers, we tend to drift towards the easy answer. But sometimes smarts aren’t the answer to your pain. So what can you do? You could search for answers to the pain yourself, which is what I did. For years being the troubled person that I am, I kept all that pain to myself. Without even a companion to truly confide in. So I wondered the desert till I stumbled upon the teachings of a selfless little man. That taug...

  After drinking my witches brew from my World’s Greatest Grandpa coffee cup, I chewed my gummy vitamins and typed these words. While somewhere in the back of my mind, the dreams that awoke me early in the morning were still swirling   in my head. They were images of friends long ago, that gave me a place of refuge; still buried in my memory, but gone for me to see. But it’s those memories that shaped my future into the now, where I live today. Dressed in the dullest of colors, grey with just a splash of spring. I venture out into a world that no longer knows me. Typing out lines of self-defecation and woe to all that care to read. Just a lost man in a lost world of instant gratification and 10 second blips of fake charm. All chasing that almighty dollar so they can afford to make their own blips of self-gratification. I don’t mean to sound so angry, I’m just grieving over the losses in my dream. Now facing a world not nearly as innocent as I was back then. So what type of...

  My mood of the morning pretty much matches the scene outside. All foggy and damp with all the stillness you’d imagine, after a good horror movie the night before. When you get troubling news, it hits you a certain way. Even though you are not the one affected. I took a shower and put on my stoic face staring intently at the frown lines I developed over the years. They’re the same ones my dad had along with most of that side of my family. Dressed up like it’s springtime with my secondhand   Izod shirt and Wal-Jacked shorts and t-shirt. Looking like I want to belong to the yacht club on Jekyll, knowing I ain’t worth the money of a dockhand. But it’s my fantasy and I’m sticking to it. No different than some Biker and Redneck want-a-be’s I know. But we all got to stay in our lane, don’t we? Or at least that’s what we are told. Like the stoic that has to be strong when on the inside they’re about to fall apart. So while my skin is way too pale to be a yachtsman and my bank ac...

  Every morning I take a total of 18 different medications that I have been prescribed by six or seven different specialist. Some of those medications I take three times a day, others I take twice a day, while a few I take only once a day. If your keeping count, that’s a total of 31 pills a day. Most all of them are pretty essential for keeping me upright and operating fairly normal. I suppose I could look at all this tragically and feel sorry for myself. While I sometimes do throw myself a pity party, for the most part I take it all in stride. Seeing it as the price I pay for making piss poor decisions during my life. But I was the one that chose to do all that stupid shit. So it’s 31 pills and several doctor visits a year, plain and simple. But since tiptoeing to the edge of death, I realized I’d much rather live. So I’ve made most of the necessary changes I needed to keep my ass going. Spiritually speaking, most of my family and friends think I’m going straight to hell. And amon...

  Well here we are, trying to kick start yet another Middle Eastern War. All while we got our first Blood Moon of the year this week. No matter what side you are on in this conflict or rather or not you feel it’s justified over diplomacy. There is still innocent blood being shed on the ground. Yet I am more than certain Churches, Mosque, and Synagogues will be praying for their side to win. With a few scattered about ready for the “End Times”. I myself am just shaking my head that it has come to this, where innocent men, women, and children are sacrificed on the alter of old men drunk with power. Under the excuse of obeying God and/or distracting from the truth. Where is the God of Jesus, Mohammed, or The Toran in any of this? Blood has been shed and the majority of the people of the world are seemingly helpless to stop it. Revenge and paranoia are the words of the day. What has been started a thousand times before has been started again.   I don’t mean to ruin what is ...

Pinterest   On yet another shitty morning, the rain slowly pours outside. The pills are scattered in their usual 4 4 3 pattern across the pad, as I stir my morning witches brew to swallow them all. Scattered across my mind is a Madonna-like figure in all her glory baring herself to me. In a seamless dance of attention unlike most women I’ve known. But now that the pills are gone and there’s nothing but the rain and the visions in my head of her lingering attention. But beyond a symphony of poetic words, my mind drifts to nothingness. While the rest of the world blows its horns and screams down the highway. I remain ignorant to the noise, while still hearing it. Offering my mind up to relentless silence that rings in my ears. For the sake of the words, my testament stands. Unholy in its voice, unloved on the face of things, most deeper than I care to be know. For I am more than just the sum of my parts: passion, water, light, earth, and air. So today in this moment of revelation...

  After a surprisingly refreshing nap I hear the distant cry of an ambulance’s siren in the distance. Through the walls of the apartment, I hear the sounds of a cartoon playing in the living room. In the kitchen plans have already been made for tonight’s supper, while outside the slightest of breezes can be seen blowing through the first of springs leaves. As for me, I’m still in a sweater with my pull-on boat shoes, minus a boat. The walls of the study remain a lite tan color, with not a picture on the wall. With me sitting here recording in vivid detail the thoughts of a life, even my closest family don’t seem to care about. For my children find me inhospitable and grumpy, because of the cadence of my voice. Never thinking that’s just the way many of us were taught to speak to sound like a man. But more and more I feel like a man out of time. Separated by distance from all I ever really knew. Surrounded by a village of strangers, that never accepted me as one of their own. Leav...

  The sun is reflecting rather harshly off my monitor this morning. Leaving a faint ghostly reflection of myself pasted to the screen. It is a brisk cool morning hovering around 33° but still the sun is as bright as a spring morning. In this season of Ramadan and Lent, I suppose reflection and sacrifice are the name of the game. In my own mind thoughts of purging and reflection shine through in the many troubling dreams I’ve had over the past few weeks. Much like the dream I mentioned in my last writing “Dreams”, uncomfortable scenarios have been coming up in my mind. With individuals from my past and present I suppose teaching me lessons I need to learn. But such as it is with dreams for interpretation can be cloudy if anything at all. So I take each moment in stride and stay aware of my surroundings. Keeping in mind my present circumstance and the fears that often rise up. So in this season of reflection and giving, remember to always be grateful for what you have. Never abus...

  Not Really After what was essentially a peaceful, but yet busy day. My wife and son have ruined it in a matter of seconds. First I got up before dawn to make the 30 mile track to the hospital to have my echocardiogram done. That in itself wasn’t too much of a bother, excluding the parking and the waiting. Then I made the 60 mile track to another city to get the medicine I needed. After the next 20 mile track back home it was noon time and as I lay my sore hip and back on the heating pad. My dear wife reminded me she needed her medication refilled as well. So I called her pharmacy (yes, we have to use different pharmacies) to have her prescriptions filled. Needless to say, I laid down for an hour or so, then got up, drove to her pharmacy and picked up her medicine. Once I got back home, it was time to start supper. I was going to get me a glass of sweet tea, but the tea pitcher was empty. So instead of throwing my son into a bad mood, I decided to brew the tea myself. Mainly b...

  It’s a froggy ass morning here on the sandy hills of South Central Georgia, where the coastal plain meets the piedmont. I’m dressed down in my old Alamo uniform of sweatpants, heavy t-shirt, and sweat jacket. With the curtains pulled open wide to get the full view of the heavy froggy air. I’m surprised by how few cars and semi’s have passed on the highway. I guess everyone got an early start this morning just to beat the day. But I’m comforted by the distant sound of an ambulance, for the fifth day in a row. After a night of tossing and turning repeating the same dream about going to some conference with a Swamper I didn’t know, meeting his family, and riding on a dirty air boat. Yeah, that kinda dream. Anyway sitting here in the relative quiet of the morning, there ain’t much to say other than I have to drive 30 miles (again) in the rain. To have my bi-annual echocardiogram done at the hospital to see if I’m still alive. I suppose I could be a little pissy about having that ...

  I’m considering working on something new this morning, Considering I already have two stories completed and a poem waiting in the wings. But with me that happens every once in a while, where I got more energy than I need in the creativity department. Still I felt like working on something new, not that it’s the beginning of a great piece, just the same old talk about, talk about I usually spin. I got a doctor’s appointment in the early afternoon. A 30 mile trip (one way) through the construction zone know as US Highway 441. There I’ll meet with my Nephrologist NP, and she’ll let me know how my kidney function is going. She’s one of many specialist I’ll be seeing over the next few months, just to reassure me that I am alive. In case I haven’t figured it out yet. Next will be my Cardiologist NP, then the Tech that checks my defibrillator function. Then I have an appointment with my Cardio-Surgeon who will be performing another procedure on my heart. Then an appointment with my Op...

  I can hear what I can only describe as the theme to the Lion King bleeding through my study walls, as I was about to touch the keys of this keyboard. I don’t know if it’s a sign from God, or if Good Morning America is just trying to fleece another Grandma to buy Broadway tickets or both. But the sun is shining   just as bright as when that old baboon held up the lion cub. So who am I to say? I took a picture of myself this morning, than easily picked out every flaw I saw on my saggy face. My skin looks like loose fitting clothing on a skinny man. Although I’d much prefer being a skinny man with plenty of wrinkles. Then this once   fat old man wearing a loose fitting skin suit that still makes me look fat. But enough about me, how about you? Got any features you care to tear apart this morning? It’s funny how the ego and wounded self-respect turns most of us into our own worst critic. But such as it is with humankind, always comparing notes. Falling in love with some...

FD Thornton   With trembling hands and a flare for the dramatic, I take my meds. Looking out the window at the clouds that had descended to the treetops. I wait for the morning sun to erase the dew and give me my promised sunny sky. Sounds pretty dramatic, don’t it? Kinda lovely in the way the words form a picture you can almost see in your mind. As an observer of life I guess that’s what I’m suppose to do. Dream up words that paint descriptions in the imagination that only words can do. But today in a world of expanding visual media, we’ve all gotten a little lazy, with our words and our descriptions of the things we see. Settling instead for half-truths we take as Gospel. Never seeing how the other half lives. It’s sad in a way to see lazy writing, where arguments become insults and ignorance is praised instead of frowned upon. There’s much to be said for simple country living, but when you exchange simplicity for ignorance and spite. Well that’s another matter altogether. I ...

Lakewood Church After an interesting night of sleep, I awoke to yet another one of my crazy dreams. Within this dream I was working crazy long hours at this particular job, that kept me away from normal family activities. Most of which had to do with church. Growing up I was used to my family bouncing from one new mission church to another. But this time I suppose one of those churches caught fire, as we would say, and had become very popular. I recall getting dressed into what I had to wear after work and heading over to a service. The church was packed, and through the crowds I finally saw my dad standing next to a wall. As we embraced he covered me with his jacket, as if something was wrong with the way I was dressed. I kinda laid on his lap and seemed to fall asleep. But I was awake enough to notice that whole vibe of the church just didn’t seem to feel right. For one the church my parents would have helped start, appeared to be out of their hands. And there was a new minister ...