Stories - FD Thornton

FD Thornton - 2017 Right now I got Bill Evans playing on my headphones and while I feel a certain amount of contentment, the world feels oddly in limbo. Almost like it’s waiting for the other ​ shoe to drop. Recently I stop by to chat with a friend, but they were far too busy to talk. They were knee deep into their latest project to stop. But that’s alright, we get like that sometimes, we get so wrapped up in our own little thing we forget. Forget that the point of it all this is to live, laugh, and enjoy each other. To connect and just be. Still we move around busying ourselves with whatever we think is important. I did this myself for a really long time, jumping from one project to the next. Never making time to enjoy the fruits of my labor. You may ask have you finally been able to reap the benefits of all that running around? The answer would be, No. Instead I brought myself some time lying flat on my back wondering when, if ever, I’d catch my next breath.  Settin

FD Thornton - 2017 At this point in my life I should be satisfied with where I am and with what I am doing. But to be honest, my feet never seem to settle for long in one place. That may sound a bit contradictory considering I’ve lived in the same place 20 years. But when I say I never settle it’s more a spiritual than physical thing. Ever since I started taking steps the better myself in the early 2000’s. Slowly but steadily I’ve been making progress towards becoming who I always knew I could be. For most of my life I wondered in a kind of desert. Simply going round in circles, never ending up where I thought I wanted to be. This track continued right up till about 15 years ago, when I started to actually make head way towards becoming a better me. It basically began when finally​ I started achieving goals I set for myself and then it snowballed from there. The road hasn’t been straight and there have been plenty of setbacks. I suppose the real epiphany occurre

FD Thornton - 2017 Recently a friend from home has been catching me up on the people and faces I haven’t seen in a while. It’s funny how when you’re not paying attention, time has a way of reminding you life moves on. Like when you discover a kid you remember as a teen, now has a married son and daughter-in-law. Or a band mate you once jammed with has passed away before their time. Yeah life moves on. And the people you once shared hopes and dreams with, keep on dreaming even when you’re gone. I don’t mean to make this sound so melodramatic, but it is what it is. Even here in my little refuge, time waits on no one. The kids are all grown, and the grandkids are starting to pile up. I’ve noticed a lot more grey peppered through my hair and the threshold of another decade is looming just over the hill. Usually we march through life unfazed by these things, mostly because we are so busy. But when it comes to someone you hadn’t seen in a while, the realization of time can be

FD Thornton ©2017 Restless and bored, my life seems to have become this revolving endless loop of routine. I wake up, I take pills, I drink decaf, I got dressed, I check emails, I reply to emails, I make calls, I make decisions, I write, I write again, I answer more emails, I make more decisions, I text,  I go to sleep, I wake up, I write some more. I can’t seem to be able to get out of my own head for a minute.  I’m pretty damn sure no one reading this feels the lest bit sorry for me. Because you all have our own revolving loops to run through. I would guess that if we spend a third of our live sleeping, the other two-thirds spent in routine. I suppose my one refuge is walking. While I walk, either through the park or around the block, I do my best not to think of anything but what I see in front of me.  So as I lay here between routines, I suppose the best thing I can say. Don’t let your routines become who you are. Balance work with play, and balance doing with just being.

Image by: FD Thornton - 2017 When you walk through an abyss of grey for as long as I had, you appreciate much more deeply color and sound. For a great deal of my adult life I was robbed of the simple joys of light, dark, and composition. But once I dropped my dependents on my chemical fix. The world became a wash again with color and sound. At first it was a bit overwhelming, much like being an infant again. Certain phases and certain patterns brought back such intense emotions. I’d cry at the drop of a hat to sad tunes or beautiful painting. All with the emotions I thought I’d lost and nearly forgotten decades ago. I know my adult children may find my sudden appreciation for color and sound a bit strange. But when they were very young music and art filled our home. As the responsibilities of life pressed on and with our move away from familiar faces, the walls began closing in. The paradise I sought never came, and with each passing year it grew harder to move back ho