Stories - FD Thornton

Someone please tell me why I’m sitting outside in this 101° heat index weather? Sometimes I ain’t got the sense God gave a goat, but still here I am. I guess for a moment I just wanted to breathe some unrefrigerated air. The gnats haven’t caught wind of me yet, so at least I got that going for me. Up in the sycamore trees I got a murder of crows calling out to each other. I’m sure they’re here to eat the figs, which I guess is just fine, considering how many bloomed this year. Remember what I said about the gnats? Well they finally have tuned in to my signal, I think it was the crows that gave away my location.  It's relatively quiet around here. Took my bride to the store so she could spend some of her birthday money. Then I had to go by the courthouse to see about some business for our special needs son. Nothing ever seems easy. I got to take care of some paperwork for him that otherwise will never get done. Your lives are an endless array of responsibilities and duti...

Since many enjoy reading about my pain and suffering, today I woke up with a blinding sinus headache and good dose of the “whoa is me’s”. The headache I’m pretty sure I don’t have to explain, but the “whoa is me’s” is just a good case of feeling sorry for myself. I’m sure everyone goes through it and I’m pretty damn sure we each got our own way of dealing with it. You either cry in your coffee or get mad and act like me, and turn into a cynical asshole.  So for my own protection and that of others in my life, I’ve barricaded myself in this room. Hoping that at some point my headache will clear or my attitude towards the world will subside. Right now all my chips are riding on the headache. Self-deprecation is a defensive weapon I use well. Self-forgiveness is a new tactic I still have difficulty managing. Asking forgiveness of others is an even harder task to master.  From a world where relentless bullying was the norm. It’s still very difficult for me to sympathiz...