Alright

 

Fluent in the art of deflection I’ve lived my life shaping a narrative of strength and decisiveness. While on the inside lived a frightened little boy without the confidence to live the life he dreamed. That’s a mighty big confession to make on what is my 63rd birthday. A day in many ways shouldn’t had happened. Those might sound like harsh and cold words, but they are words I say with honesty, without hesitation or fear.

As some of you may know, I’m given to moments of melancholy. So excuse my bluntness and gloom. While you meet me in person you may think, he’s a witty old fellow. Know it’s an image I where with some degree of pride that carefully covers the hidden fears of a verbally abused child. It’s hard to grow up in a nice working-class home, with a bike and a whole neighborhood to play in. Yet beneath all the “Wonder Years” were the hidden dangers of bullies and verbal abuses that no undertow of suburbia could erase.

So I got smart, very smart and created a laissez-faire attitude towards life. By the time I got to high school the armor was so tight, it was impossible to tell where I ended, and it began. Through later years and so many failures, I let them roll off me like water off a ducks back. That is until I broke down and collapsed under all the weight. Then what did I do? I created a new narrative, even stronger than the first. Applied with enough varnish that even the very threat of death became a joke.

So as I sit here in my little office, not much different then the one my Grandaddy Geiger had. You’d think I would have found some degree of satisfaction, right. But no, I still have a hunger. A hunger to push myself and see where I can go. To explore the limits of my creativity and to continue to be a friend to those who are truly friendless and tell them, everything’s going to be alright.