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Something Right

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Probably one of the strenuous lessons I ever learned. Was how innovative you must be when you have no one else to depend on other than yourself. As a caregiver for my wife and the decision making parent for my children. It was always front and center how stressful my life was. And how alone and isolated those emotions made me feel. Even with a dear wife who wanted nothing more than to be an equal partner. The stresses of making family and financial decisions were often overwhelming.  I don’t know if my kids or immediate family ever understood the stress and fear I was under. Mainly because my go to reflex is always to be a cynical jerk. Meaning that I would treat any crisis like water rolling off a ducks back up front. That may show how strong you are, but the results usually end up leaving you looking and acting like…a jerk. So I’m pretty sure I was never a shining example of great parenting to my children. But frankly I was just trying to do what I could to keep them aliv
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Old Baptist

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Sitting outside it looks like my shade is about gone for the year. You’d think the gnats would feel a little sorry for me. But instead I’m sure they’re all giggling enjoying my discomfort. But that’s what you’re supposed to expect this time of year. To see leaves falling from the trees and feel a little crispness in the air. Only this year the heat and humidity are fighting like hell to stick around. And while it did rain a little late yesterday afternoon, the humidity has done nothing but excite the sand gnats that are nibbling on my ears.  Not much is going on other than my Baptist buddies next door getting together to be, well…Baptist. The sky keeps fading between cloudy and partly sunny. While the humidity in all it’s glory, dampens what could be a pleasant morning into a wet blanket. Other than that I ain’t got much to complain about. Had a somewhat pleasant conversation with my father-in-law this morning. He caught me up on the Braves while informing me “my President”
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I Am Me

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This morning in the mail I got an odd little letter from the IRS asking me the confirm my identity. Apparently they’re not sure if a past tax return was sent by me or someone else. This obviously means I’ll be going through a long, paper jammed process to prove I am me to them. Considering I haven’t had to pay nor received any return from the IRS in over a decade. It does make me wonder, if someone’s using my ID to receive a return, I wish they’d show me how.  I suppose life is all about who you are and what your worth. I left the idea of being worth anything to the greater world a long time ago. On paper I’m worth a small pension check that by inflationary standards means I ain’t worth much. My worth according to who I am, sadly ain’t really worth much more, than maybe a passing reference to very few.  But despite all my “mealy mouthing” we all play an integral part in a greater plan. Now some may think this has something to do with achieving a higher power or purpose. But
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Expectations

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I haven’t been awake long enough to really know where my head is at. I mean the bed’s made up, I took my medicine, I even got clothes on the wash and straightened out an appointment for Lisa this morning. So I’m sitting here with the TV playing as background noise waiting. But waiting for what, I don’t know. I reckon I’m just doing like my Grandma Geiger and talking just to be talkin’. Not aimed at anyone in particular, especially myself.  God knows why any of my six followers ever put up with me. I’m an unfocused, non-goal setting, white guy; that has nothing better to do then sit here and talk about himself. But that’s okay, I do have a job keeping up with Lisa’s appointments. And making sure the light bill gets paid and that my son has his snacks. As much as we’d all like to live lives of greater purpose. We usually consider ourselves complete failures, because we failed to reach our perceived goals.  But when seeking solace or satisfaction, we usually figure out that ou
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I Really Don't Mind

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I ain’t got but an hour or so to be outside this morning. Today is Grandparents Day at the elementary school our grandchildren attend. So we be having lunch with our granddaughter and checking out her classroom. Then I have an appointment at the medical supply store to pick up my new CPAP machine and accessories. After answering about a dozen texts since I stepped outside. I’m beginning to wonder why I come out here at all. But after a good rain last night and a steady breeze now I really don’t mind.  The town’s running at it’s usually pace…slow. There’s plenty of golf carts parked at the dollar store and the post office trading on the latest gossip. There’s a lawnmower running full throttle down the street, and the EMC guys are running in and out of the warehouse looking for parts. I for one have just two stops today. Two noisy appointments to crowd up my usual uncluttered schedule. Other than that there’s nothing inspirational going on here, just the sound of an empty log
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Blowing Breeze

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It’s later in the afternoon so I decided to take advantage of the lighter humidity and come back outside. There’s a lite breeze blowing so while the gnats are still out, at least they’re having to put in some extra effort to lite on me. You can still smell where the grass got cut this morning, but sadly the faint scent of BBQ from the restaurant down the street is gone.  The poor old sycamore tree leaves look a bit sad. Hanging like they’re on their last leg from the limbs. There’s no point in bringing up the fig bush/tree, it’s all but shed most of its leaves. It’s hard to believe that just a few months ago both plants were vibrant and green, with a bountiful crop of figs. But the birds have mostly abandon their nest in the fig branches. With the kids grown and the shade and food supply dried up, I can’t say I blame them.  But I’m the human here, I’m adaptable with opposable thumbs. I can’t move on as easily as the birds. My so-called cognitive reasoning insist I stick aro
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Bubble Up

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As of this writing I haven’t decided which image I’m going to post with this story. The one in vivid color and that some may consider gross or thr black and white that’s and a little less in your face. What it is, is what I call a blood blister. They come up on my arms and hands when I bump into something. Or sometimes they just appear out of nowhere, which is the case with this one. I’ve been told they’re a sad side effect of the blood thinning medications I take. Why they only seen to appear on my arms and hands is anyone’s guess. Sometimes they come in go in a matter of days. Sometimes they “bubble up” and bleed out and last for weeks. This particular one is a really deep red, which usually means it’s going to bleed. The embarrassing thing about blood blisters are their to need to bleed out at the most inconvenient times. That’s why my every present diaper bag comes in handy with my first aid supplies. Lawd knows why I’m even bringing this subject up. I’m sure by now
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