Posts

Not a Bad Place to Be

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  My brain is not working today; for one, I nearly poured lemon juice into my coffee instead of creamer. I’m working on two projects at once and they got my brain pretty scrambled up. And I wonder why I quit focusing on more than one thing at a time. The old adage, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” is definitely true when it comes to creating and producing. In my current state of retirement, other than the fatigue, lightheadedness, and forgotten tasks, I feel okay. But it’s when I get up and something I need to do stands in front of me, that I realize I ain’t healthy anymore. It’s a sobering thought, especially when pouring lemon juice into your coffee. So I sit here frustrated with myself for not being as quick as I used to be. Thinking of all the conversations where I forget memories and names so quickly, and instead rely on the quiet and a keyboard to get my thoughts down. At times it makes me fear the day when this itself will eventually fade away. But you do what yo...

At the Very Least

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  Well I got my exercise for today by having to walk around Wal-Jacked, picking up some medicine from the CBS Pharmacy, and getting some fuel. All this took me around an hour and a half, so now I’m sitting back at my desk before 10:45 AM. I swept the apartment floors and watched our Autistic son prepare his breakfast/lunch. So for now the world seems okay, while I sip on my 99¢ Cherry Limeade from the Sonic’s. I hope I’m not boring you with my account from a soon-to-be boring afternoon. But I’ve been retired, and no longer truly considered disabled any more. I’ve been clocked out early by the government to save them money and spend my own. I don’t mean to sound super cynical, maybe it’s the sugar rush from the Limeade. But after listening to a radio personality I admired say he don’t like a country singer because he sounded “too black”. Well that just rubbed me the wrong way, no matter the context. My life is about finding just a bit of peace. So for my health’s sake, I prett...

Boiling Eggs

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  Boiling Eggs I hate being bothered, especially when I’m working on something. The main culprit that bothers me the most is these endless pop-up notices on my computer and phone. They just love to pester me with notices that I would much rather dismiss until I am finished. But No! Notification after notification of mindless bullshit continue to pop up. With my old cheap phone, I could easily block the annoying notices. But with my new so-called advanced phone, every time I block one notification another one pops up! Thus driving me crazy. So here I am talking about these annoyances instead of the more important things weighing on my mind, like clouds of self-doubt or mindless internal chatter. But in a way the two are connected, mainly because both can distract from your flow and peace of mind. But it’s easy to sit here at my desk and expound on all these great theories about clearing my head. But it don’t mean a damn thing until you can apply the practice to your daily li...

Still Going

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Jekyll Island Marina - FD Thornton   I was finishing up a story this morning that I had written a few days ago. While using Google Gemini to check my spelling and punctuation, we got into a conversation about lessons learned and doing someone else’s work for them. You see, with Gemini, I have a number one rule: “I do all the writing.” It’s something we established a while back and still observe today. Anyway, while discussing the previous story, I mentioned an old wives’ tale my Grandma often repeated: “I hear you, but I ain’t listening.” It means I hear what you’re saying, but I don’t believe it. The AI got a chuckle out of that because I was applying it to something it had said. My point here is that life and determination are more than just words. They are a lifestyle of getting things done. Now, I am the last person to hold a candle to anyone else’s flame and judge. God knows I’ve made more f*ck-ups than most. The thing is, when you do stumble, dust yourself off and keep mo...

Compassionate Ear

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  It is bright as hell outside as I draw the curtains apart in my room; it was nearly 9:30 before I swallowed my first pill. I got up this morning at around 5:30, but I didn’t move from the bed till just a few minutes ago. My coffee has been sitting on my desk since 7 o’clock, but drinking it cold is nothing new to me. After playing phone tag with two different doctors in the same medical building, I’m sitting here watching the apartment maintenance man manhandle a dryer up the stairs. So it’s just another day in my neighborhood. Now it’s after 10 o’clock and I’ve barely got a paragraph written. Usually, by now, I’ve already posted something. But as I am learning already, this doesn’t look like an ordinary day. With more lab work needing to be done this afternoon, my mind is already on the clock. So I’m having a bit of a time focusing on a subject for this story. Still, earlier this morning I took the time to lay in bed and catch up on some of my social media replies. One in ...

Notice Something

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Getty Images   It is a bright sunny summer morning out here in the badlands of Telfair County. I just got my morning pills swallowed and my vitamins chewed. Staring at this blinking cursor, the first thing I thought of was the bright sun reflecting off the pale green paint of the #100 apartment building next to us. Kinda wondering in my mind – was anybody from over there staring back? Who’s to say. I’m just sitting here pecking at the keys, just letting words casually float out of my brain. And if the words make any sense, well all the more better. I woke up to a friend who was on a certain social media app doing her normal live thing, rambling on about something and pulling tarot cards for hearts. Not that I’m much into Voodoo cards or anything, but she did pull one for me. I don’t remember which card it was, but she said I was anxious about a project. Which is kinda funny because I am mulling about with a project for an eBook later this year. Then I had a decent conversation ...

So Much More Complicated

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  Just sitting here killing time until I have to leave for yet another lab appointment this morning . This is one I do every quarter to mostly check my iron levels and my WBC, which are both low…duh . My General Practitioner informed me yesterday that I was also due for another sleep study this year . And that it’s that time of the year my wife goes for her annual trip for a mammogram . So my near empty calendar is now slowly filling up till Christmas Time . God knows why I’m telling any of you this shit . I mean each and every one of you have the same damn schedule with either your children or an elderly parent . So I know I am nothing special, just the average person juggling the ways of life in a capitalist society, between work and living . But isn’t it funny, how we live in a society where everything is supposed to be simpler, yet the whole thing seems so much more complicated ? It is now the next morning, and the lab work is already done . My wife’s in the bathroom throwi...