Stories - FD Thornton

Over the last few days, I received a bit of a set-back with a major milestone coming up. I don't think it was anything that I did, just one of those things that life hands to you. After getting the news it did knock me back a bit. It took what was going to be a celebratory time and throwed some cold water on it.   As I try to do, I vented to one of my small support team members. They replied quickly with some encouraging words of support. Which I already knew, but during my time of, "Woe, is me!", you just don't want to hear. Because right now all that's on my mind is, doesn't this happen every time something good is about to happen. Just like the time when we were getting ready to buy our dream home and a physical disaster nearly wipes me out. Or, like the time we were getting so close to completing a life long goal and the rug is yanked out from under us.  People that know me say, you have a lot of potential. At times I feel that's going to be...

Remember your mom or a teacher told you to use your inside voice? They more or less meant for you to quite down, that your being too loud. Well the inside voice I'm writing about is that down inside, that one that lives in your gut.  Recently, I was enticed to go to auto dealer and trade in my vehicle for a newer one. Long story short, the longer I was there, the more my gut screamed, "Get Out While You Can!"   So, I did. This is one example where my inside voice probably saved me a nickel. But you know, there are times when the voice inside may not help you. Sometimes that voice is insecurity and fear of rejection and it's those times when the voice is wrong. I think as we go through life the experiences we've learned (good & bad) shape those voices inside us. And, in some situations we end up with more bad voices than good. But you may asks, how do you tell the good voices from the bad ones? Well, that sometimes takes experience and maybe even another...

You know, I had a good idea for a post this morning. The problem is I went online to school, made coffee and breakfast, then watched some of the news. And, I did all this before picking up my laptop and going to this site. Oh well.  It's amazing some of the things that can go on inside your mind, the thoughts that can walk through and pop out. It's nothing new for me to be thinking of a problem during the day and in the middle of the night the answer comes, like it was there all the time. Yet at the same time, I can have a brain frat and not remember the simplest piece of information, like one of my kids names. I think my point here is I worry that all I've learned in school is simple spilling out of my ears, the longer that I'm not working. I fear that the things I pick-up on are rusting away the more I sit here. If I wasn't so damn far in the sticks, I'd take an apprenticeship position, just to stay sharp.  But I only have a few more weeks left till grad...

To the two or three that read my post sorry I've been away so long. School just got to be so much of a chore, as well as, life in general I had to put something down. But, anyway I just turned in my last assignment for this course and my heads still spinning. So I thought I'd lay here and put down some incoherent thoughts as usual. I think my main problem lately has been burnout. I checked my schedule and I haven't had a break from class since 11/26/2011, except for Thanksgiving and Christmas, that's barely two weeks total. You know, I don't know why I drive myself to do this sometimes. I mean, some nights I wake up in the middle of the night with an idea and turn on the computer and login to class and work well into the morning. Even today, I had till late tonight to finish the project, but I didn't get up until I was done.  Use to, I'd drop a project at the drop-of-a-hat. Now I work harder than I ever had when I had a job. And care a lot more now to ab...

Well, it's been a while since I posted last. It's toward the end of a difficult course, so I'm devoting most of my time to it and my job searching. Still, in the back of my mind I think of stuff I'd like to post. While I've been away I do wonder if all that I write is for anything? I mean, is it read by everyone and do they get anything out of it? Or I'm I really wasting time?  I justify my writing by believing maybe my kids will want to read it someday. You see my own Dad was a good guy, but there are so any questions I would have liked to ask him. And, although I can't guess what questions my own kids may have in years to come. By putting some of you thoughts to screen, maybe it would give them a clearer picture of who I am.  These weeks have been a little tough, as the year few years have been. But I see a "port on the edge of the horizon", so I know things are getting better. You know, if you keep a perpetual mindset of nothing ever gets ...