Lots of Potential

Over the last few days, I received a bit of a set-back with a major milestone coming up. I don't think it was anything that I did, just one of those things that life hands to you. After getting the news it did knock me back a bit. It took what was going to be a celebratory time and throwed some cold water on it.  

As I try to do, I vented to one of my small support team members. They replied quickly with some encouraging words of support. Which I already knew, but during my time of, "Woe, is me!", you just don't want to hear. Because right now all that's on my mind is, doesn't this happen every time something good is about to happen. Just like the time when we were getting ready to buy our dream home and a physical disaster nearly wipes me out. Or, like the time we were getting so close to completing a life long goal and the rug is yanked out from under us. 

People that know me say, you have a lot of potential. At times I feel that's going to be on my tombstone. Because that's as far as it's going to get. It seems for every goal I lay out that is so close to my gasp, the brass ring only moves a little farther away. I know, I know, I maybe "making a mountain out of this mole hill" here. But just once wouldn't you like to hear "you are a winner!", without any conditions? 

But then again would life be worth, it if it were all easy and smooth as glass? Isn't life just a little sweeter when you fight for every drop of it. Doesn't that iced tea in the summer taste a little better after seeing that lawn mowed or that garden weeded?  

OK, so I have potential. What now? Do I simple give up on it and settle for what scraps I can dig up, do you? Of, do I look at this situation as just another speed bump that lets me know I'm alive.     

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fail-Safe

Image
Through the paper-thin walls of this old house, I can hear my neighbors getting ready for another day. Laying here remember when I used to do that, working at night so I could take care of the kids, while my wife went to work. Yesterday sorta marked a tipping point for me I suppose. I finally got my consultation with the gastroenterologist. So we are working the set-up some tests my primary care physician has been wanting for me to have for months. While I would love nothing more than to tell my PCP, “I told you so”. But I suppose knowing is better than not knowing. Although I do find some comfort in ignorant bliss.  I get the impression some people feel I am an optimist. But I like to think of myself more as a realist. What some may mistake as optimism is actually nothing more than analytics. Where I breakdown a given situation and create a solution. That may sound cold and frankly less romantic. But you must understand, after living so long in a void of no emotion (due to
Read more

Moments You've Lived

Image
It’s 5:15 in the afternoon and my stupid ass is back outside. I just checked the phone and it’s a balmy 90° with a feel like temperature of 99°f. I figured since I was hot in the room with the AC on, I might as well come outside and do same thing. Earlier I read a funny meme from my sibling on Facebook that read, “Can someone send me a hug?” copy and share. Rather sarcastically I replied, “We are not huggers , didn’t we grow up in the same house?” Probably no truer words have ever been spoken about our lives as kids. Oh, we weren’t beaten or overly abused, we were just not raised all “touchy feely”. Not surprisingly most kids of our generation weren’t raised that way either. We were provided for in our working class suburban homes. It’s just that a lot of time wasn’t devoted to things like feelings and emotions. You were expected to tough it out and swallow those tears. I guess one place where we could let our emotions go was church. Raised during the infancy of the “Pentecostal Moveme
Read more

Blowing Breeze

Image
It’s later in the afternoon so I decided to take advantage of the lighter humidity and come back outside. There’s a lite breeze blowing so while the gnats are still out, at least they’re having to put in some extra effort to lite on me. You can still smell where the grass got cut this morning, but sadly the faint scent of BBQ from the restaurant down the street is gone.  The poor old sycamore tree leaves look a bit sad. Hanging like they’re on their last leg from the limbs. There’s no point in bringing up the fig bush/tree, it’s all but shed most of its leaves. It’s hard to believe that just a few months ago both plants were vibrant and green, with a bountiful crop of figs. But the birds have mostly abandon their nest in the fig branches. With the kids grown and the shade and food supply dried up, I can’t say I blame them.  But I’m the human here, I’m adaptable with opposable thumbs. I can’t move on as easily as the birds. My so-called cognitive reasoning insist I stick aro
Read more