It's 3 o'clock, Do You Know Where Your Sleep Went?

In my 52 years on earth it's very rare that I sleep more than 5 or 6 hours at a time. That's not to say I don't sleep 8 to 10 hours a day, just not at the same time. Now my wife mind you, you could set a watch by her sleep habits, down at 10, up by 7, everyday. My grandmother used to say, it was my guilty mind that kept me up. That may have been true in 1983, but I'm sure there's more to the story since then. 

 At the moment I'm just waiting for the sunrise. Me and the morning sun have a bit of a relationship, we usually greet each other everyday. I remember my dad getting up two or three times a night. I know this to be true because I was up as well. Over the years, I can honestly say I am my father's son. I certainly couldn't deny his linage, he practically spit me out of his month. Any family member can tell you, when they named me FD Thornton, Jr. they hit the nail on the head. Which begs me to wonder, what other bad habits did I inherit? 

 I suppose I could get into all the issues and phobias I've been diagnosed with, but what would be the point. The point to living is just that, living. To allow my problems to rule my life isn't living, neither is wishing them away. What is your best defense is to face these situations head on. To look deep into yourself in a non-judgmental way to show those situations you are there and that you see them. 

 I realize this my all sounds foreign and strange, but this isn't some cult form of "kumbaya" or some new age positive thinking. It's simple looking at our lives in balance that within is "the good, the bad, and the ugly" of who we are. So as I publicly struggle with the problems in my life, I have come to understanding the struggles of my dad. But now I realize the suffering can be faced and survived. 

 So as I spend another restless night watching my bride sleep like an angel, I work to realize. That this is just me and the way I was created. To work to learn to live with my weaknesses and strengths. To become the person I have the potential to be, a man that walks in his truth. 

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