Lingering Attention
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On yet another shitty morning, the rain slowly pours
outside. The pills are scattered in their usual 4 4 3 pattern across the pad,
as I stir my morning witches brew to swallow them all. Scattered across my mind
is a Madonna-like figure in all her glory baring herself to me. In a seamless
dance of attention unlike most women I’ve known. But now that the pills are
gone and there’s nothing but the rain and the visions in my head of her
lingering attention.
But beyond a symphony of poetic words, my mind drifts to
nothingness. While the rest of the world blows its horns and screams down the
highway. I remain ignorant to the noise, while still hearing it. Offering my
mind up to relentless silence that rings in my ears. For the sake of the words,
my testament stands. Unholy in its voice, unloved on the face of things, most
deeper than I care to be know.
For I am more than just the sum of my parts: passion, water,
light, earth, and air. So today in this moment of revelation do you feel
anything new? Is there a sense of pattern in the drops that fall from the sky?
Or are you just too busy to worry about the day? With deadlines to be met and
places you need to be. I for one am blessed with nothing pressing until the
next week. Where I’ll be used as a lab rat again and monitored for any abnormalities
that can’t be seen with the human eye.
Till then I lay in wait, listening to the hustle of what was
once my day. Waking up, counting pills, and thinking openly of nothing more.
But of the Madonna of my dreams, giving me the attention a young man needs and
old men desire. Tempered by the moment in which it was given.
#Attention #Thoughts #Reality #Dreams #Desire
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