Stories - FD Thornton

The Road Home   Once again another sleepless night confounds me; tensions of the day haunt my dreams. Leaving me restless and out-of-sorts, anxious and ready for change. Usually before and after a major event, such as this surgery, I find myself searching for meaning, while at the same time putting up old habits that are my survival mode. I wear a nearly impenetrable mask of this happy-go-lucky man who doesn’t have a care in the world. But just as in the distant past, the building of that wall eventually cracks and crumbles. So I sit here with this weight once again, listening to wise words of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh about healing myself through a life in the present moment. Listening this evening to a friend nearly coming to tears about a past pain nearly brought me to tears myself. I wanted to say words of comfort, but instead I sat there and gave them some compassionate listening. But through my own suffering, I found myself falling to old habits of self-defense and w...

  Done with all the usual. The vitamin gummy tastes good in my mouth after a job well done. Yesterday morning, I went to my Family NP to get an official blood pressure reading and some bloodwork done to check on my new medication and my lightheadedness. Well, the results came back, confirming her suspicions and diagnosis. So now, it’s just a waiting game and a bit more of being very careful when I move about. I hate sounding a bit paranoid about my health, but I am. However, I do my best not to water those seeds of fear as I used to in years past. By living in the present moment, there is a certain degree of awareness concerning your health and wellness. It’s not that I don’t fear death, but I’m also not ignorant of my quality of life. So, I do my best to keep myself as healthy as I can given my current situation. Life is about awareness and the quality of life you live. None of us want to be uncomfortable, I’m sure, but at what cost do we pursue that level of comfort? Over the...

  Well let’s see how this mornings going to turn out. Woke up about normal time, I slept through the night, did my normal morning business, and took my pills. Then I got my glucose meter ready by pulling it out of the bag and assembling the lancet and pulling out a test strip. I inserted the test strip into the meter, then shot the lancet into my finger, and yes I wiped with an alcohol pad. Then put the meter to the blood droplet and within a few seconds got my reading. I know all this is old school tech considering all the new fancy wearable meters out there. But when your Medicaid won’t pay for a fancy new meter you get what you can afford. So before you moan and cry about it, I’ve been doing it this way for well over 30 years, so I don’t even feel it anymore. But these are the sacrifices we make for good health. For 30 years I haven’t had to go on the insulin shots like my parents. I still take a combo of metformin and another product, and my GP is happy with my A1C, so why ch...