Swept Under the Rug

Awakened from dreams so vivid and strange. I lay here a little dizzy and shakened by the thoughts swimming in my head. So I wait a moment to let reality settle over me, as the thoughts from my sub-conscience subside. The ebb and flow of my brain is often just a mixed bag of emotions. More than likely just an inheritance left to me by my father. Whose own solution was to drown himself in work.

I for one sought the help of “professionals”. Who took the time to patch me up with chemicals and sent me off on my merry way. Sleep so often is such an elusive dream. I would so love to make the night my own. But lately that simple request has been denied by my mind.

I find myself dreaming in “what ifs” experiencing flashbacks of impatient longing. I try to tell myself more time is all I need, but the heart and soul grow so tired. I wouldn’t expect many of you to understand the situation. But it stems from long unresolved issues of emotion. But for so often the pay-off to seeking peace, is only finding more trash sweep under the rug.

I wish I could close this with some answers to those sleepless troublesome nights. But in reality, soundbites and 300 word capsules just ain’t enough. Our lives are often entangled with emotional landmines. Where baggage from the past as well as desires for tomorrow, cloud the soul. All you can ask of yourself is for a clear path to the moment. Thinking in terms what is my next step will be. Towards making it through just another day.

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