If Loving Yourself Is Wrong, You Don't Want To Be Right

I came across a touchy subject for me within a discussion board on LinkedIn, the board deals with Transformational Leadership and the comment was presented by Dr. Maria Church from her website. The topic deals with having either a thick skin or strong heart to overcome the jabs others may throw at you. And as I said, this subject really hints home for me. 

 Without rehashing too many sad details of my young life I was tortured and bullied as a very young child. When I say tortured it wasn't so much physical, although I was hit and battered by bullies. What caused the most lasting pain was the verbal torture I endured through nearly my entire public school career. The fact is I don't think I would have made it without the support of a very small group of friends and my own sharp wit. 

 The posting in fact brought up a number of deeply buried memories which one may think should remained buried. But in reality they need to be brought to the surface and embraced for what they were. The tortured memories of a young child who didn't ask or deserved to be treated that way. Even now as those memories feel as fresh as yesterday. That child needs to be embraced and loved, and told it was not your fault. 

 Once that can be done, then the healing can begin. The adult can then truly learn to love his or herself and move on from that wicked past. Now one can learn to build a thick skin to the arrows of insult and hate. But in building up those calluses one also ends up building a thick, tough skin around ones heart as well. So while you maybe able to block the arrows, you end up not being able to forgive. 

 In closing, developing a strong heart is far better than creating a thick skin. Simply because, the heart can love and the heart can forgive. 

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