Keep Living

This is from last years surgery.

 

It’s creeping close to noon-time, and for the last few hours I’ve been scrolling through messages and social media posts. Some of the posts are funny, some sad, or enlightening; but all sent to stir up attention. Believe me I’m just as guilty as anyone else, if I weren’t I’d just keep my posts to myself. But I don’t, I share them.

Last night was a little rough, I woke up cramping on the right side of my rib cage. With my life as a professional pill taker, my world is a crazy balance of making sure the medication I take to live, also doesn’t kill me. In other words, one medication I take to strengthen my heart can also lower my blood sugar dangerously low. So we have to adjust one other medicine, so I don’t lose too much fluid and dehydrate. All the while still taking that medicine to control excess fluid from building around my weakened heart.

I know, it sounds crazy as shit. But I do what I got to do to keep the machine running. Kinda like an old ’66 Dodge Dart I had that kept slinging oil. But as long as I kept a quart or two in the trunk, I was fine.

Life throws all kinds of shit at you, just to see if you really want to live.

Now my dear Granny Geiger knew she ate too many sweets, and that they weren’t good for her. But she still ate what she wanted to eat under the excuse, “You gonna die from something, so it might as well be from something you enjoy”. And oh well, she did at 72.

I guess I’m saying this to say, while at some point something’s going to kick you in the ass, that’s true. Why buy the matches to light the fire? I learned way too late, that all my overeating was to compensate for all the misery I carried inside me. While not everything that happened to me was my fault, it was my responsibility to make it right.

So as I juggle this crazy balance of medications to keep me breathing, ask yourself.

What am I willing to do, to keep living?

#Healing #Survival #PreventiveMedicine #Truth #FacingFacts

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