Cliche'

Image By: Sandra Saxon Burnsed

 

It’s almost cliché the way I get up every morning. As I get older the tasks are more predictable and routine. Unlike my younger years where there was no responsibility, or as a father and adult when I had a family to take care of. Today everything’s more routine and, shall I say, predictable?

Still, I spend every first of the month paying bills and making sure money's moved around. Then I fill the Kia with fuel and hope it lasts for the month, as well as groceries and other things. I have to keep up with prescription refills and the ever-present doctor appointments, of which I have at least one or two every week.

But such as it is for an office manager, secretary, accountant, chef, housekeeper, crisis manager, husband, father, grandfather, and friend (AKA…Caregiver). But in-between all that work, I do find time to feel sorry for myself I suppose. In-between all the other decisions I have to make during any given day. It’s really not a big deal anymore, you get used to it when it’s your job. I mean when you're raised in an Evangelical Christian home, you’re programmed to give and not to receive. You're programmed to deny the self and live in service to others.

So maybe all that indoctrination was a blessing in disguise? But who am I kidding? It sure doesn’t feel that way when late in the evening your soul is still starved for some attention, but it never comes. So what do you do? Carry on and place all your burdens on the Lord? Yeah, that really works. Especially when you find yourself hiding under the bed, unable to leave the house. Where’s the Almighty then?

Forgive me for my tone; I’m really much better now. After decades of searching, I have discovered there is a higher power within myself, a higher power that was always there. It’s the power of connection between every one of us and nature. Learning that there are no easy answers is the first step to understanding—that happiness and trauma are meant to be shared and not cradled in the darkness.

#Salvation #Balance #Mindfulness #Connection #Zen


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