Stories - FD Thornton

Fear is a strong emotion that's both a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing when you feel that tingle on the back of your neck when you sense someone or something is following you. But it can be a curse when you have a talent that can bless others, but fear paralyses you from sharing it.  Someone told me today that fear is an outside intruder. That maybe true, but once it gets a hold on you, it invites itself into your mind and heart. Then once it takes root there, it's harder to dig out then an old azalea bush. ( Which if you ever had to do that, you know it's very hard to do .)  Once you recognize that it's fear of failure that's causing your stress and not anything like an oncoming train. Then you can apply truths to "root out" the fear. But this is seldom a one time thing. Because, just like digging out that azalea bush, if you don't get all the root out, it comes right back again and again. Which means fighting stress, anxiety, and fear a...

As human beings we think of ourselves as exceptional among the other beings of this world. Even among our own kind far too many of us believe ourselves to be enlightened or better than our brothers and sisters here and elsewhere. So when we see suffering in other places it isn't hard for us to be unsympathetic to the plight of those a little different from us. While we may not not say it out loud, our inaction cries, " let them eat cake ", with a hint of cynicism.  This morning while watching a news report from Africa about families dieing because war has stopped the production of food. I couldn't help but hear in my mind the calls of many saying, " that's their problem, not mine ".  While my heart broke for those individuals, who not unlike myself, simply want their children to grow up and be happy.  We can be a bit selfish at times, with rallying cries of " my four and no more ", when thinking of those different and unlike ourselves. But ...

Most all of my work for class, I finished yesterday. With the expectation of using today to take it easy from what was a busy week. Over the weekend I had written my last post, thinking I wouldn't write another one for a few days. But after a hot, humid Southern night, which I slept in a little late. I sluggishly got up, dressed, took my med's, and even ran an errand before have a late breakfast.  Funny how today was planned to be a bit lazy , yet I've gotten a good bit done.  While focus is a great tool to have in your toolbox, so to is having the process of creative or random thought. Personally, being able to focus on a task has brought me great reward (good grades, solutions to complex problems, and financial reward), so to has the ability to sink into random thoughts. You see, sometimes the focused mind can center on the wrong or cookie cutter solution to a situation. For some task being able to see from many points or from many voices delivers an answer oth...

With the rush, rush of my days, it's not hard for me to lose time with the most important person in my life, that person being me. Now some may feel that statement is a bit narcissistic and it can be. But when looked at in the right way, how can you qualify to take care of others, if you ignore yourself. Now we could go into a whole theological discussion here, but this is my blog.  I'm learning to be the best I can for myself ( and others ), I have to take time to reflect on where I am and where I am heading. Going through life with enough baggage to load a semi, it pays to stop the rig and unload every now and then. If the word you use for this is prayer than great, take moments in your life and pray. But if you are more comfortable in reflecting quietly and focusing on the moment, then meditate away.  Both are taking time from the distractions of life and focusing on the here and now. To process and review ( if you will ) on how you are doing and seeing ...

For the past number of years I've had problems of various kinds, as we all do. One of the major situations I deal with is my mind playing "what if" games with me. When I say "what if" games I mean, let's say I have a difficult test or paper to write in two weeks. Well, my mind or should I say my thoughts will obsess and obsess with the situation over and over. To the point where I am paralysed with fear about the situation.  For many the "what if" game can be constructive, in that it allows you to go over a problem or situation and create an answer. For me it means stress and anxiety pouring over me for no real reason other than being there. I get a stress headache, my blood pressure goes up, my heart pounds out of my chest, you get the picture.  It's something that came on me many years ago, that has never really been fixed. Oh, I've been to doctors that seem real good at patching holes or fixing physical symptoms. But never one tha...

I've been thinking about how things have changed over the years. As a kid in the sixties, I grew up in a suburban neighborhood with a factory working dad and stay-at-home mom. My dad didn't worry about job security, he was at Union Camp about 37 years. His salary didn't make us rich, but we didn't do without either.  As I got older I graduated high school in 1980, it was the turning of a decade. We were tried of disco and singer-songwriters, we got into punk or bands with synthesizers. It was also the beginning of a change in the economy. Going where the manufacturing jobs my dad had and the growing of the service industry. That was once only for entry-level individuals who were waiting for better jobs, now it's the only job.  As the 80's continued I got married with a family of my own. But without the job security of a by-gone era, we were forced to make due with whatever we had. No home of our own, no establishment, just temporary living paycheck to payche...

Ever since I was very young I love to hear stories. Rather told by a grandparent or trusted friend, hearing others tales has been a fascinating obsession for me. Well this weekend I was looking for something to occupy my mind while I wait for the Braves to come on TV. The Internet got boring real quick after school, there was nothing on the boob tube till the game.  So I decided to give the radio a shot. Now out here in Boonie-close-minded-ville , you have the choices of country, country, and oh yes! country. So I turn to the Internet and go to tunein.com , which plays various stations from all over the world. I decided to go to my old faithful station from Macon WMUM the Georgia Public Radio Station. On the public channel was a program I'd not heard called The Moth .  Basically the Moth is a show of peoples stories, some sad, some funny, some sad and funny. All I can say is my story listening fetish has found a home. But my point here isn't to promote Tunein or ...

I haven't long got back from Dr. Jellybean, and telling about the troubles that have in my life. It's not that I don't like Jellybean, it's just that I feel like I'm on a stage trying to entertain a critical audience, that I can't seem please. I mean I rehearsed in my mind what I want to tell him, but by the time I get in there the script has changed, the moment I finally see him I don't feel the same. On the way back home my mind turns to dinner ( hey, I'm Southern and I'm fat ) wondering what we are going to have. Unlike most Americans, between the doctor's office and my house there are no Micky D's or Whooper K's, just pine trees and people that play the theme to Deliverance on the banjo. ( Okay, maybe they play Toby Keith...on the banjo now .) So my choices are limited to over-priced pizza, Chinese take-out, or greasy spoon diner. I opted to fix something at home, like rice and onion gravy, with field peas. It ain't fancy, but...

Over the last few months I've been very active with a website called  about.me  It's a sort of an introduction site where you can post a little something about yourself or profession or whatever, and add links to other sites you have. One of the things that I am learning more and more everyday from this site is, people all over the globe are a lot more alike then they are different.  We all love, we all pray, we all breathe, and all want to have friends more than want enemies. Some may call naive, some may think I'm just plain stupid to trust people from other cultures or places. I think it's just how my faith wants me to treat others. To learn the best of others and to apply that to myself and become stronger and wiser. But many of us can't allow ourselves to change, the world's still a big scary place to them. But it doesn't have to be that way. God has left it up to us to make this world how it can be. Through Love and compassion we can overcome all t...

Like most good Southerners after a day of working in the 95+ degree heat and that wonderful 90% humidity, I take a cold shower when I get home. I do it to cool off some, but I mostly do it to keep my wife from Lysoling me down when I come in the door. You see down here in South Georgia, sweat is a part of life.  Anyway, it's been a while since I've posted. It's been a bit busy with work and school, you'd think at my age one or both of those things would be off the table by now. But there not, so I'm looking forward to another year of school and working till the Good Lord calls me home. Which neither one I really mind, I mean it appeared to me my father was bored senseless after retirement. And if nothing else, school keeps me sharp and willing to try new things. Like I mentioned, it's been awhile since I posted. It's been one of those periods in my life where I'm out of stuff to say. ( Which I'm sure many people I know have never seen .) Believe ...