Punched

Sitting in front of my keyboard one of the things on my mind is how outside influences dictate our overall daily stress levels. Yesterday I went for a follow-up to my recent hospital stay. My regular physician was left totally out of the loop about what happened at the hospital. So while she was reading off all this really bad information to me about my reports from the hospital; what neither she nor I realized was she was reading reports from a year ago and not from my most recent stay.  

Needless to say, I was stressing out. Because since my first stay at the hospital I thought I had been doing better. It wasn't until the visit was nearly over that I figured out she was reading my old reports. I can't really get too upset with her, considering I go to a pay-as-you-go clinic for those of us that can’t afford $1200 a month health insurance; besides the hospital sent her the wrong paperwork. So on the bright side suffering from Panic Disorder keep’s me hyper-aware of what's going on around me.

The point I want to make is, stress is its own bitch and can do really crappy things to your well-being. The stress I tried to contain for so long eventually destroyed my heart and will eventually rob me of a lot of good years. But I'm not totally the victim here because I did make some poor choices along the way. The thing we need to do is work to correct the things we can fix; along with cutting ourselves a little slack by loving instead of hating ourselves for those mistakes. Lord knows I'm never going to be the poster child for successful living. But I'm a fighter, so despite how many times I get punched, I keep getting back up and so should you.