Just a Bad Day


Some mornings just aren’t that great. I had a good six hours of sleep last night, but woke up feeling tight. I’m not super uncomfortable, but my chest and gut are tight. So at the moment I’m just waiting for the medication to kick in. I really don’t like talking about my physical condition, it tends to worry people. But I’ve noticed when I do talk to myself, it tends to ease the stress that is definitely a trigger for my anxiety and ultimately my physical pain.

My panic disorder usually expresses itself through health issues. Worrying about catching my breath or a tingling in my chest can trigger all kinds of “what if” scenarios in my mind. It’s a vicious circle of physical and mental signals that can make for a fairly uncomfortable life. Often I calm my mind by reasoning with myself that it’s just the panic kicking in. I pay attention to my breathing, and I listen to the fear that is welling up inside me. I have discovered through mindfulness training that listening compassionately to the fear often calms the voices. I also discovered that my writing can be a form of therapy. By giving my anxiety a voice to express itself.

Listen you not be able to express your emotions with words, and that is fine. You can release fear and anger through things like exercise, music, or even by working on your car. The point is find a constructive outlet for that built up emotion you carry inside yourself. Your life will be so much better without all the excess baggage of built up angry or fear. Rather it’s stress, panic disorder, or just a bad day; remind to give yourself time to breathe, listen, love yourself, and let go.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fail-Safe

Image
Through the paper-thin walls of this old house, I can hear my neighbors getting ready for another day. Laying here remember when I used to do that, working at night so I could take care of the kids, while my wife went to work. Yesterday sorta marked a tipping point for me I suppose. I finally got my consultation with the gastroenterologist. So we are working the set-up some tests my primary care physician has been wanting for me to have for months. While I would love nothing more than to tell my PCP, “I told you so”. But I suppose knowing is better than not knowing. Although I do find some comfort in ignorant bliss.  I get the impression some people feel I am an optimist. But I like to think of myself more as a realist. What some may mistake as optimism is actually nothing more than analytics. Where I breakdown a given situation and create a solution. That may sound cold and frankly less romantic. But you must understand, after living so long in a void of no emotion (due to
Read more

Moments You've Lived

Image
It’s 5:15 in the afternoon and my stupid ass is back outside. I just checked the phone and it’s a balmy 90° with a feel like temperature of 99°f. I figured since I was hot in the room with the AC on, I might as well come outside and do same thing. Earlier I read a funny meme from my sibling on Facebook that read, “Can someone send me a hug?” copy and share. Rather sarcastically I replied, “We are not huggers , didn’t we grow up in the same house?” Probably no truer words have ever been spoken about our lives as kids. Oh, we weren’t beaten or overly abused, we were just not raised all “touchy feely”. Not surprisingly most kids of our generation weren’t raised that way either. We were provided for in our working class suburban homes. It’s just that a lot of time wasn’t devoted to things like feelings and emotions. You were expected to tough it out and swallow those tears. I guess one place where we could let our emotions go was church. Raised during the infancy of the “Pentecostal Moveme
Read more

Blowing Breeze

Image
It’s later in the afternoon so I decided to take advantage of the lighter humidity and come back outside. There’s a lite breeze blowing so while the gnats are still out, at least they’re having to put in some extra effort to lite on me. You can still smell where the grass got cut this morning, but sadly the faint scent of BBQ from the restaurant down the street is gone.  The poor old sycamore tree leaves look a bit sad. Hanging like they’re on their last leg from the limbs. There’s no point in bringing up the fig bush/tree, it’s all but shed most of its leaves. It’s hard to believe that just a few months ago both plants were vibrant and green, with a bountiful crop of figs. But the birds have mostly abandon their nest in the fig branches. With the kids grown and the shade and food supply dried up, I can’t say I blame them.  But I’m the human here, I’m adaptable with opposable thumbs. I can’t move on as easily as the birds. My so-called cognitive reasoning insist I stick aro
Read more