Dancing Around Fire

Sometimes I can get so envious of people who seem to have themselves all together. Their courses have been set, their lives appear in constant motion. Their going somewhere, doing something, being someone. These are the one's that make the tiny steps I make seem pathetic, unimpressive, and just plain sad.

 I stated earlier in my post that I think too much, and when  do think too much, I end up second guessing my every move. Still even while I dance around the fire of truth, I still couldn't tell you what the truth is. Is life meant to be a series of well-intended events or is it a course to be charted and planned.

 For me, each time I sit in front of the keyboard, I couldn't tell you how the story's going to end. I usually start with one thought or line and work from there. Some kind of planning don't you think? While I have nothing against plans, I simply feel confined by them. I worry that while I pursue some plan, something else more interesting will pass me by. 

 I suggest ever going with me to a bookstore or album website. I so want to read or hear everything, I usually can't pick just one thing. But is existing in this no plan world of mine productive? Will it feed me or my family, put a roof over my head, or keep the power turned on? Well I can tell you a few times it hasn't, and that's never a good thing. 

 So here I am back at the fire. Dancing like a moth not caring if I get too close. Wanting to be a part of it, but turning away when the fire's too hot. So what is my answer?  At what place do I find content? At what point do I settle?

 All I can do right now is hope that someone else empathises with my situation and maybe has a clue. Do I buckle down and work toward some laid-out plan? Or do I do my best, with no boundaries and no limits to my thoughts?         

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