Every So Often, Part 1

I've been around for some fifty plus years, and if anything, I know what things I like and what things I don't. I have a pretty good handle of the talents that I have and on the weaknesses I process also. So when things come up that want to aim me in directions I don't feel comfortable going. I have to ask myself, do I seize these moments or do I listen to that part of myself that just doesn't feel right. 

 So here I sit looking at some proposals that can put me on the path of fame and fortune. So is it me just being lazy or does the idea of doing something I simply don't feel comfortable doing holding me back? You'd think I'd answered these questions thirty years ago, right? 

 Awhile back before the Great Recession, I had a plan, I thought it was a good plan. I was finally going to finish college and work for myself in a career I learned and basically steer my own ship. But over the course of my collegiate journey things changed course, and things I thought were a "shoe-in" ended up coming untied you can say. So I made adjustments, adjustments that have not made me too happy. 

 So here I am, at a moment where I'm looking at options I really didn't think I'd have to make. Considering the chooses that appear as opportunities, but really feel like enslavement to yet another endless process. While I'm not in anyway comparing myself to others who had no choice. Poverty in itself can make you walk roads you never thought you would.

 As I work to understand myself  I've come to realize that knowing oneself is a never ending process. As I silently walk this journey I'm becoming aware of who I am. Sowing seeds of compassion where fear and hate once bloomed. Hoping, but slowly realizing that the voice within may be my best guide.   

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