After A While

I know it's been several days since my last post. To be honest, I have no excuse other than a lack of inspiration and just wanting to be with myself. Rather it's due to my ongoing depression or simply a symptom of my current condition, sometimes I just don't want to be social. 

 Lately my isolation has been because my old friends worry and anxiety have let themselves back in the door. Right after my little hospital stay my attitude was unusually bright. I guess it was because I was happy to be alive. But since then my old friends worry, stress, and anxiety have crept into the picture. You would think after all this time and experience I would be better prepared for such things. 

 But you know, no matter how many times you fight the good fight, it never gets easier. Oh you might be better prepared, but the way the panic hits you. It's always a surprise sucker punch to the gut. You may ask me, "what do you do then, just deal with it?" In a way yes, I deal with it, I learned awhile back wishing it away doesn't help. What I have learned is that facing the fear and anxiety headlong is about the best strategy. 

 Even now as I deal with the feelings and internal dialog, it's important to allow myself to look the fear headlong. Then say to it, I see you and hear you, and I understand. Talking about and acknowledging what you feel is a great first step in living in the moment, To stop worrying about the past or fearing what's in the future. 

 After a while you learn some things just take time. And that wishing upon a star isn't always the answer. Either is ignoring the problem and hoping it will go away. Taking a breathe and acknowledging what is in front of you. Is about the best way to overcoming fear.             

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