Stepping Back

For the past few days I was feeling a bit out of it. Not quite sure what the real problem was, feeling different aches all the same. Given my recent health situation and other long-term health issues, to say my senses were heightened would be an understatement. With every little twitch or twinge of pain my mind was racing wondering what each of these meant.

Like I said, I’ve been a bit out of it. Allowing my thoughts to drag me every which way they wanted. After a particularly rough night of panic, I guess you can say I had enough. I knew that either something was really wrong or my panic was dragging me down that same stressful road again.

That’s when I stepped back to remind myself that not only is my present condition real, but that my long history with anxiety is just as real. By stepping back I reminded myself of the things I used to do to keep my anxiety in check. That not every little thing I feel is here to do me harm. By allowing ourselves to run to the past or to the future, it pulls us away from what’s having right now.

Letting our minds run here or there produces too many “what ifs”, that allow our thoughts to create fear. A fear that’s either out of the past or from a future that hasn’t even happened yet. Past experience or future planning in of themselves are not bad. What makes them bad is the unreasonable fear they can create when we live outside the here and now.

Anxiety and panic feed on the unknown, the “what if’s” that may not even occur. By being focused on where you are at the moment, you can see things clearly without the fog of anxiety. But getting to this place takes work, it’s never a one and done situation. It requires daily focus and attention, which even the best of us, can sometimes forget.  

I suppose my reason for saying all this is to say we are all human. Full of the imperfections and strengths we inherited from our families. Meaning that even the most prepared of us may need to step back and review the situation before charging in.