All So Temporary

Ever since I ventured out on my own at 17, my whole life has felt like one long temporary situation. By that I mean, I have never seemed to be able to put down any roots. Now my wife and I have been in a very long term committed relationship. But beyond that, my commitment to other people and things has been temporary indeed.


Over the years my circle of friends has dwindled to a small few, pretty much less than a handful, you could say. I don't know why that is, I assume it has something to do with the fact that I'm a hard nut to crack. Or maybe it has to do with the comfort I have with myself and knowing who I am. By that I mean, I'm pretty comfortable expressing my strong as well as weak points. I don't think I come at you with a load of shit, unless you consider being a smartass a load of shit. But I do sense that I can make some people uncomfortable, I really think I do. I won't want to say it's a machismo thing, maybe it's just some perceived intimidation?


Anyway, I usually just sit here and write pretty much for my own amusement. Since most of the world is just too busy worrying about stuff. I've always felt like a person trapped among strangers. That for whatever reason only a chosen few ever really got me. And for the last few decades, those people have been few and far between. I mean, there is no shortage of people to carry on light conversation with, but deep meaningful conversation is what I truly enjoy.


But the world isn't built for that anymore. Now we are programmed to receive our information in 140 characters. But who can understand the truth that way? We seem to be busy, to just be busy. It was until just recently that I was a part of that tribe. But for the last few years the drive to be part of that culture has all but gone. I watch my kids, friends, and family go, go, go, and all I want to say is slow down. I'm getting tired just watching you. And no, that's not something they should be proud of. Just because you can work 12 to 14 hours a day, doesn't mean that you should. Besides the stress we put ourselves under now is a thousand times worse than anything our forefathers experienced.

I suppose the whole point of this is to ask ourselves why? Why do we stress ourselves so? Is to just keep up with the Joneses down the street? Or to satisfy some unquenchable thirst we have deep inside? Listen no one appointed me judge and jury, besides civil service jobs pay squat. The thing is, are you happy? If not then maybe it's time to just let go and find a less permanent situation to live in.

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