Stories - FD Thornton

As you may remember, I'm in college in my Senior year. So you would think by now that I'd quit second guessing myself. You see during the week I had a fairly complicated question to answer in class. So I put down my answer and thought, "God, I hope no one reads this." Then as other classmates chimed in, I found that my answer was not bad as I first thought. In fact I was getting compliments from classmates on my analogy. This is not the first time this has happened. But still I find myself amazed when I get something right. I wonder why that is? Is my view of myself still so low that I require confirmation that I have a brain? It almost takes me back to my younger years when teasing and bullying were a simple fact of my life. Still I thought I'd gained so much over the last four years. Funny now items from your past still end up biting you on the ass. So I guess the thing I'll do is marvel at how complete strangers think I know what I'm doing. Then as ...

Every so often I wake-up either aching or burned-out. Not every morning, but some mornings. These are the days when I simple don't feel like being social or doing anything for anyone. Well after forcing myself to finish up some work I had to do. I lied back down put on my headphones, turned-off the phone, and just lied there. With the help of an ibuprofen I thought of nothing except listened to some Monk and clearing my head.  After half an hour I decided to call a friend. I try not to call he/she at work anymore, but it had been a few weeks since we spoke, so I did anyway. During our conversion we spoke on various things mostly questions he/she had. The subject of my concern never really came up, which was fine. But after our chat I felt a little better and even got up to write this.  I guess the point of my little post is this. Have yourself a support system. For way too many years I did not and that nearly ended me. We are a tribal creature, rather we admit it or not. ...

A couple of posts ago, I mentioned being a child in the sixties. Well just today a dear friend of mine reminded me about some of the things we had to do back then (1972) compared to today's average 10 year old (2012).  First you have to understand we had no cell or smartphones, internet, personal computers, or digital anything. No music downloads, CD's, DVD's, Dish Network, cable TV, or VCR's. By '72 I think we finally got an ABC station giving us 4 TV stations to pick up by the rabbit ears (ask your Grandparents). Also, if I remember right, we got our first color TV around '72, a 19" portable Sears Brand TV.  But before you sit there and think, "God, what did you do all day?" In the afternoons and summers we played...outside. I know it sounds crazy, but our parents your Grand & Great-grand parents let us outside. We all had bikes and after breakfast we hit the door not to be seen till dinner time. I was blessed to have grown up on a dead ...

For a long time I would set goals for myself only to have most of them fell through and never get reached. Now not every goal I set fell flat, just the majority. For so long I have been aimless grabbing at one thing then another. The only consists in my life are my kids, my wife, and my words. Those three things have never let me down.  Still inside yourself, you look for value. But, maybe the word I'm really looking for is validation. I know, I know, my family my legacy can give me that; and in a lot of ways they do. Still, deep inside yourself self you feel a need. Hell, I don't know, a need to be. Do you see what I'm saying?  Anyway, come November I'll be doing something I never thought I would do. I'll be getting my Bachelors degree. It amazes me when I think how long that goal sat in the back of my mind. And now, it's so close I can almost taste it.  As I've told you and others so many times I've learned so much more from this journey than jus...

When people tell you their a child of the sixties, for me, I was a child in the sixties. Which I guess puts me at the very end of the boomer age. Strange, I don't fell like a boomer, yet I'm too damn old to be a gen X'er either. Still a friend who read some of my more serious work mentioned to me that, "I wrote like an old hippie". At first I didn't know if I should be insulted or flattered. Because I wasn't part of that bunch they were the weirdos that lived in the old Maddox house with a lot of smoke blowing out the windows. That Mom & Dad told us not to ride by on your bicycles near.  But that is what he thought when he read my piece.  That got me thinking, maybe I'm getting too progressive in my old age. I always thought you got more conservative in your old age, maybe I just got it backwards? I was always taught to keep my opinions to myself when it comes to does things. But on things like Facebook and even LinkedIn I've seen some stuff ...

As some may well know, I'm very close to my Graduation from college. For a number of years I tried to attend a few institutions in my area to get my degree. Through each of these schools I tried my hand at a few various degree programs, ranging from technical to medical. But for a really good reasons, I couldn't complete any of the programs I started.  So for a while I allowed myself to believe that maybe I just wasn't good or smart enough to make it through college. But you know it kept nagging at me that I wasn't setting a good example for my kids. That is was not setting a good example for myself. You see, must of my life I've been plagued with the idea that I'm never good enough. If you really knew me you'd say, really? But it is very, very true.  Anyway, back to my story. A little over 3 years ago I discovered the school I now attend. I attend this school as an online student. At this point the name of the school or even my degree program are not th...

I've had a lot of different jobs over my life. I've worked construction laying highways, build homes, made cabinets, laid brick and block, painted, printed, worked in a warehouse, ran a warehouse, purchasing agent, receiving clerk, quality control, grocerer, meat cutter, produce man, security guard, supervisor, corrections officer. I think you get the picture. Now some of these jobs I liked, some I loved, most I hated. But hey, I got up each day and I worked. Well for nearly four years I've been back at school. For two of those years I've been laid-off. So I guess you could say, I'm ready to wear pants again and go back to work. I only got two problems in my way: 1. Someone to hire me. 2. Someone to hire me.  You know, I've been laid-off more times than I care to count. Anyone who's worked construction knows that feeling, when the unemployment office people know you by first name and have your coffee ready. (Maybe not that.) But you get what I mean. So h...