Hypocrite

It’s so easy for us to say positive words and affirmations about what we are going to do. It is a totally different thing to back-up those affirmations with action. The thing I’ve fear most about affirmations or positive thinking is the disappointment it creates within me when my goals aren’t met, making me feel like a hypocrite when I fail.

A few years ago I read a book by Oliver Burkeman titled, The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking. What drew me to this book was the title and a series of articles Burkeman wrote for the New York Times. The book itself isn’t so much a slam against positive thinking, but an honest look at now action, words, and reality don’t always give us the result we desire.

Burkeman proposes a more balanced approach to looking at life and living to our fullest potential. Understanding that while affirmations and positive thinking are important, we also realize not everything works in our favor. That instead of allowing the disappointment of reality to tear us down, we honestly look at the positives and negatives of our lives and learn from them.

What I have come to realize is that the guilt I carried for not achieving my goals, was actually damaging my already fragile self-esteem. So instead of allowing this to continue to erode my confidence, I’m learning to openly look at both the negative and positives of my life to strike a balance between the two.  

When you allow yourself to focus on just the negative or the positive, the end result is usually disappointing. What Burkeman and others have taught me is that without both ends of this spectrum you can’t be at peace. You only end up feeling like a hypocrite without balance.