Just Like You

It’s only one in the afternoon and I am spent. Woke up this morning at three am, to help put out a small emotional fire for a friend. Went back to bed, got up, drove to town, went shopping and paid bills; now I’m laying here totally pooped out. It’s not so much the hot weather that exhaust me as much as just getting around. You see, I suffer from Panic Disorder, GAD, and Agoraphobia.

Through decades of therapy, plenty of medication, and a lot of meditation; I manage my symptoms much better than I used too. But there are days when the fear and dread of leaving my comfort zone are a bit too much. My wife is very understanding about my situation. But she is disabled herself, so she depends on me for transportation. As you can see we make quite a pair.

Today while we were on our monthly outing, I felt pretty good. Being my usual loud, obnoxious self; a mask I wear quite well by the way. But as we were finishing things up, I grew more exhausted and withdraw. Now my heart condition may have played a factor. But in all honesty, I think my mental state had more to do with it. So the best thing I can do is fold up the tent, because the show’s over.

I’m not a therapist or counselor, just someone who knows a bunch of them. I’ve crafted my lifestyle to fit my specific needs, but many out there do not have that luxury. All of us that live with mental health challenges do not require your pity or worse yet, your fear.

What we do ask for is a little understanding and respect. Life is hard enough for us without being labelled “crazy” or “psycho”, by the so-called “normal people”. All we ask for is a little respect, because we work hard every day, just to get out of bed and try to live our lives, just like you. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fail-Safe

Image
Through the paper-thin walls of this old house, I can hear my neighbors getting ready for another day. Laying here remember when I used to do that, working at night so I could take care of the kids, while my wife went to work. Yesterday sorta marked a tipping point for me I suppose. I finally got my consultation with the gastroenterologist. So we are working the set-up some tests my primary care physician has been wanting for me to have for months. While I would love nothing more than to tell my PCP, “I told you so”. But I suppose knowing is better than not knowing. Although I do find some comfort in ignorant bliss.  I get the impression some people feel I am an optimist. But I like to think of myself more as a realist. What some may mistake as optimism is actually nothing more than analytics. Where I breakdown a given situation and create a solution. That may sound cold and frankly less romantic. But you must understand, after living so long in a void of no emotion (due to
Read more

Moments You've Lived

Image
It’s 5:15 in the afternoon and my stupid ass is back outside. I just checked the phone and it’s a balmy 90° with a feel like temperature of 99°f. I figured since I was hot in the room with the AC on, I might as well come outside and do same thing. Earlier I read a funny meme from my sibling on Facebook that read, “Can someone send me a hug?” copy and share. Rather sarcastically I replied, “We are not huggers , didn’t we grow up in the same house?” Probably no truer words have ever been spoken about our lives as kids. Oh, we weren’t beaten or overly abused, we were just not raised all “touchy feely”. Not surprisingly most kids of our generation weren’t raised that way either. We were provided for in our working class suburban homes. It’s just that a lot of time wasn’t devoted to things like feelings and emotions. You were expected to tough it out and swallow those tears. I guess one place where we could let our emotions go was church. Raised during the infancy of the “Pentecostal Moveme
Read more

Blowing Breeze

Image
It’s later in the afternoon so I decided to take advantage of the lighter humidity and come back outside. There’s a lite breeze blowing so while the gnats are still out, at least they’re having to put in some extra effort to lite on me. You can still smell where the grass got cut this morning, but sadly the faint scent of BBQ from the restaurant down the street is gone.  The poor old sycamore tree leaves look a bit sad. Hanging like they’re on their last leg from the limbs. There’s no point in bringing up the fig bush/tree, it’s all but shed most of its leaves. It’s hard to believe that just a few months ago both plants were vibrant and green, with a bountiful crop of figs. But the birds have mostly abandon their nest in the fig branches. With the kids grown and the shade and food supply dried up, I can’t say I blame them.  But I’m the human here, I’m adaptable with opposable thumbs. I can’t move on as easily as the birds. My so-called cognitive reasoning insist I stick aro
Read more