No Different

Apparently, I picked a bad time to come outside. It’s only two in the afternoon and it’s hot as hell. Still it’s funny how numb my toes can get. The neuropathy used to just bother my left foot and parts of my left hand and the left side of my mouth. But now it’s starting to bother the little toes on my right foot.

I don’t know why I’m being this shit up, most people in my situation would keep quiet. I guess that’s because when they do “kick the can”, people would say, “I never knew.” Well I’m giving you a heads up, you can thank me later. But I try and enjoy each moment which as it comes. I suppose I’ve made enough decent choices in my life to grant me that privilege. But I think it’s really more about how you spent the moments that’s really important.

I have a friend who is always scurrying about doing this or that. Putting out fires, running a business, and taking care of others. Like myself they have a dependent spouse that has to be cared for and looked after. In all honesty their life seems to be a mess. I often wonder if they look at my life and ask, “why can’t my world be like that?”

You know we all have our burdens to bear. The thing is where do we draw our strength in our time of need. Mine comes from just a handful of people. People that I know have my back and that love me just the way I am. Yeah, life has its stresses and its problems, but we don’t have to walk it alone. Have faith that somebody out there cares. And that they know your situation all too well. That they love you no matter how many tattoos or scares you carry. For your heart is no different than when you first met.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fail-Safe

Image
Through the paper-thin walls of this old house, I can hear my neighbors getting ready for another day. Laying here remember when I used to do that, working at night so I could take care of the kids, while my wife went to work. Yesterday sorta marked a tipping point for me I suppose. I finally got my consultation with the gastroenterologist. So we are working the set-up some tests my primary care physician has been wanting for me to have for months. While I would love nothing more than to tell my PCP, “I told you so”. But I suppose knowing is better than not knowing. Although I do find some comfort in ignorant bliss.  I get the impression some people feel I am an optimist. But I like to think of myself more as a realist. What some may mistake as optimism is actually nothing more than analytics. Where I breakdown a given situation and create a solution. That may sound cold and frankly less romantic. But you must understand, after living so long in a void of no emotion (due to
Read more

Moments You've Lived

Image
It’s 5:15 in the afternoon and my stupid ass is back outside. I just checked the phone and it’s a balmy 90° with a feel like temperature of 99°f. I figured since I was hot in the room with the AC on, I might as well come outside and do same thing. Earlier I read a funny meme from my sibling on Facebook that read, “Can someone send me a hug?” copy and share. Rather sarcastically I replied, “We are not huggers , didn’t we grow up in the same house?” Probably no truer words have ever been spoken about our lives as kids. Oh, we weren’t beaten or overly abused, we were just not raised all “touchy feely”. Not surprisingly most kids of our generation weren’t raised that way either. We were provided for in our working class suburban homes. It’s just that a lot of time wasn’t devoted to things like feelings and emotions. You were expected to tough it out and swallow those tears. I guess one place where we could let our emotions go was church. Raised during the infancy of the “Pentecostal Moveme
Read more

Blowing Breeze

Image
It’s later in the afternoon so I decided to take advantage of the lighter humidity and come back outside. There’s a lite breeze blowing so while the gnats are still out, at least they’re having to put in some extra effort to lite on me. You can still smell where the grass got cut this morning, but sadly the faint scent of BBQ from the restaurant down the street is gone.  The poor old sycamore tree leaves look a bit sad. Hanging like they’re on their last leg from the limbs. There’s no point in bringing up the fig bush/tree, it’s all but shed most of its leaves. It’s hard to believe that just a few months ago both plants were vibrant and green, with a bountiful crop of figs. But the birds have mostly abandon their nest in the fig branches. With the kids grown and the shade and food supply dried up, I can’t say I blame them.  But I’m the human here, I’m adaptable with opposable thumbs. I can’t move on as easily as the birds. My so-called cognitive reasoning insist I stick aro
Read more