Given Time

It’s been a while since I had to give a really good motivational speech. Either to myself or anybody else for that matter. But after 2015, my priorities changed, I became much more focused on my health and frankly, just surviving. I don’t mean to sound overly dramatic, but ask my family, some thing’s had to change. So the days of focusing on work and study gave way to a healthier lifestyle and getting my shit together.

Still I am sometimes called to give that pep talk, to give an encouraging word. But to tell the truth, I can be quite an asshole. I’m often short-tempered and very critical with the people around me. I suppose I can blame it on my upbringing, we “tolerated fool’s lightly in our home”. I try my damnest to temper my “assholyness”, but more likely than not it comes out anyway.

Words are fire, words can be as deadly as a gunshot. Or as gentle as an infant sleeping. When I’m given time, I can be as encouraging as they come. But in the moment, it’s often good that I isolate myself. I’m not sure why I’m telling you this other than to maybe clear my conscience.

I suppose a good chuck of motivation is the ability look at yourself clearly. For many years I’ve worked on the parts of myself that nearly destroyed me. While I have a long ways to go, much like the classic line, “ain’t too proud to beg”. I still have to forgive myself, as well as, ask forgiveness of others. To be an example to others, we must first be an example to yourself. Fame and fortune are fine, but achieving peace within, now that’s much more valuable than silver or gold.

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