I'm Doing It Anyway

I’m obsessing. Yes, I admit it I’m obsessing. I know good and damn well I shouldn’t let things out of my control bother me. Yet, here I am worrying and planning my next move. This shouldn’t come as no surprise to anyone because I ky you all do it too. To going into any detail of the situation is a moot point. It’s just that I know better than to let this thing disturb my thinking, my sleep, and frankly my well-being. But what can I say? I’m doing it anyway.

For most of my life I allowed obsession to turn into worry, then later turn into panic. At first my panic was just internal, then it manifested itself into a living physical thing. Not only paralyzing my judgement, but my actual physical presents. Creating fear, anxiety, and paralysis. It’s funny, as if the past year wasn’t enough to raise the anxiety stakes. Now my very freedom of getting around has been taken. Leaving me with even less control over my life. It’s easy to say, “I’m just going to let go”, when you have the option to take back control. But it’s an entirely different thing when you actually have no control.

Anywho, I said all I’m going to say. There’s no point on dwelling on the situation any more than I have. I know what I should do, I’ve read all the cafeteria motivational posters all ready. I just needed to get the shit out. And that my friend is one of the keys to getting out of any funk, to be vocal and honest about what it is that’s bothering you. Listen you don’t have to hang all your laundry out for all the world to see. But it helps to have an outlet: a friend, a therapist, a notebook and pen; anything to get you through. Don’t let your own thoughts defeat you, fight! That’s why we got that almond in our head in the first place, to help you get out.

 

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