Only Now


In moments of awareness, time losses it’s meaning. Hours pass into seconds, seconds into days, days into minutes. To breathe in awareness is to see long buried truths, some good, some bad, but all necessary. Like the addicted making amends, I must forgive myself for being me, then the healing can begin.

The peace I sought as a young man drifted through my fingers. So I searched for fulfillment in whatever straw I grasped. Seeing these things, I understand the denial, the escape we all search for. For true love comes from loving oneself.

In dreams I see visions of lives past. Of ghost that teach me to this day from memories. A pitcher of tea sitting in the refrigerator. Two sisters dancing carelessly in thoughtless bliss. They all mean something to me. To the unwritten plan of life laid out before me. So I clear my mind: with no past, no future, only now. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fail-Safe

Image
Through the paper-thin walls of this old house, I can hear my neighbors getting ready for another day. Laying here remember when I used to do that, working at night so I could take care of the kids, while my wife went to work. Yesterday sorta marked a tipping point for me I suppose. I finally got my consultation with the gastroenterologist. So we are working the set-up some tests my primary care physician has been wanting for me to have for months. While I would love nothing more than to tell my PCP, “I told you so”. But I suppose knowing is better than not knowing. Although I do find some comfort in ignorant bliss.  I get the impression some people feel I am an optimist. But I like to think of myself more as a realist. What some may mistake as optimism is actually nothing more than analytics. Where I breakdown a given situation and create a solution. That may sound cold and frankly less romantic. But you must understand, after living so long in a void of no emotion (du...
Read more

Child in the Sixties & Seventies

A couple of posts ago, I mentioned being a child in the sixties. Well just today a dear friend of mine reminded me about some of the things we had to do back then (1972) compared to today's average 10 year old (2012).  First you have to understand we had no cell or smartphones, internet, personal computers, or digital anything. No music downloads, CD's, DVD's, Dish Network, cable TV, or VCR's. By '72 I think we finally got an ABC station giving us 4 TV stations to pick up by the rabbit ears (ask your Grandparents). Also, if I remember right, we got our first color TV around '72, a 19" portable Sears Brand TV.  But before you sit there and think, "God, what did you do all day?" In the afternoons and summers we played...outside. I know it sounds crazy, but our parents your Grand & Great-grand parents let us outside. We all had bikes and after breakfast we hit the door not to be seen till dinner time. I was blessed to have grown up on a dead ...
Read more

A Little Poem

Morning Rain. Watched it begin to rain this morning Light, then heavy and strong And from my limited view I thought How perfect I lite my pipe and drank my joe Watching the smoke rings As they hit the top of the pouch and thought How perfect Looking out I thought of nothing Simple watching the raindrops Come over the edge and hit the steps, thinking How perfect Even from one's limited view, one can see perfection It may be a bird on a branch, or a child at play Still, it is perfection In such an imperfect world How perfect FD Thornton, 2012
Read more