Deeper Thought

From the picture I took, I almost look productive. It’s funny, during my college years it was nothing for me to either be sitting at my desk doing work or laying flat on my back with the laptop doing the same. But not long after the “widow maker” I had during my Capstone Exam for my MBA. My mind and especially my body made a U-turn in my priorities and dropped me here where I am today. I haven’t written anything other than a few lines of poetry recently. My failing condition and this extreme heat have kept any deeper thoughts at bay.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath before continuing, packing together whatever random ideas I may have. I suppose if anything, I’d like to say productivity and the bottom line are not the end all be all goal of human existence. I used to think money and admiration were the goals that I needed to obtain happy  life. Now given my life experiences I would say it’s the simple things like a cool morning breeze or the stretching of our newest little granddaughter that makes me the happiest. 

Since committing myself to the truth that we all suffer, that there a cause for our suffering, and there is a way to ease that suffering through balance. I have benefitted myself both physically and mentally. But believe me I am far from perfect in my practice. There are moments when stress and exhaustion get the better of me. So I sit in silence often fighting with myself to be the better man. Much to my disappointment I fail at the attempt to do the right thing. There’s no point in hiding it most everyone I know has seen it. So why continue making the attempt, you ask? Well for the benefit of myself. I’ve made enough strides at this to know, it even the attempt at being a better person. Is a clear and worthy step to gaining the peace I have long sought.