Focus on Living

Me and my bride just got back from the big store chain that doesn’t compensate me for mentioning them, so I won’t. Last night it was stuffy and hot with the temperature hovering around 80° at midnight. So I woke up dizzy with a headache. Even after dropping my morning meds, the headache and lightheadedness still hasn’t gone away. Long story short, after putting the groceries put up, I’m now sitting in the shade of the trees in our backyard.

There’s not much to write about at the moment other than I also have an enormous crick in my neck. Which may go a long ways in explaining my dizziness. Still down the street a neighbor is getting their grass mowed. Our lawn was mowed Tuesday by Mr. Brown, with this being the first time I’ve been outside in a couple of weeks. Between the headache and the dizziness, there’s sharp pain is running down my leg again. Reminding me if nothing else most physical and some emotional pain will definitely teach you a little about patience.

In between the agonizing wait on doctors appointments, you’re left with a lot of time to think and worry. The guessing game of not knowing leads to many a bad assumptions. Some of which have nothing to do with the ongoing situation. Allowing yourself to drift from one ill thought to another, leaves no room for healing. I spent too many years letting worry and fear control my life. It wasn’t until I started to putting into practice the art of meditation and mindfulness, that I started seeing relief.

Now mindfulness is nothing more than prayer and acceptance. Nudging you to look at a situation head-on and calmly releasing it. Now that doesn’t mean the situation is gone. But what it can mean is the situation is no longer a focal point of your fear. Do you get what I’m saying? I put up with a lot of shit, both physically and mentally. But it doesn’t mean I give in to the fear of it. I approach each with a the goal of either dealing with it or making go away. I’ll tell you right now, neither one is very easy. I got crap I’ve been and dealing with for decades. But I won’t let it take away from my focus on living, no matter how hard it tries.