Out of my Head


I once more I seem to be saving the world again, least for a few people I love. Laying here with a ice cold glass of lemoned tea and an ice pack on my head. I’ve been chatting with a few folks about this or that. Talking with some that about my situation, while I in turn talking with them about there’s. It’s sort of a funny thing, a good deal of these people I have never met, let alone spoke with face to face. But seeing that most of my schooling and business work was conducted online. I have little trouble navigating the various time zones and international date lines that can hamper long distance communications. 

Seeing that I live in a rural area blessed with high speed internet. I’m both isolated and connected at the same time. Which works out great for me considering the anxieties and phobias I have to contend with. Unfortunately in person I’m thought of as a blunt and abrasive person. An egotistical person with little to no compassion or empathy. Which I guess is all fine and well, at least I’m saving someone else from the slings and arrows of others disrespect. I learned a long time ago that this is the armor I was forced to wear. So while I thought for a long time I should tear it off, I’m beginning to see, that it’s simply just a part of who I am. And by recognizing that fact, I am able to create true change. 

It's kinda funny how I can sit in the silence and create the words I sometimes write. But in the heat of the moment, my words are often scrambled under a haze of whispering thoughts and unprovoked innuendo. But who the hell knows maybe it’s just some undiagnosed mental disability I still have. Or maybe I’m just to damn honest with myself and should just keep my mouth shut. Either way it’s all right here, bleeding out onto these pages and out of my head. 

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