The Imperfection Of My Perfection

One of the ticks you can say I have, as well as many others, is my need for perfection. Perfection itself, I guess isn't a bad thing. I guess the problem comes from the idea that everything we (I) do has to be perfect. So many times during my work and school career, I have found myself disappointed even when the results were good. Just thinking about that for a moment is kinda sad, because of all the joy I robbed myself of because I want things perfect. 

 I can sit here and quote person after person, that has written about the anchor of perfectionism. But what I want to do is write how this anchor has weighed my self image down. On more occasions than I care to count, I've robbed myself of the simplest pleasure of doing well and achieving something. When I earned my Associates degree a few years back, my advisors were so happy because of the many hardships and problems I went through to earn it. 

 Looking back, I should be ashamed of my reaction simply because of the hollow unsatisfied feeling I had. You may say, that feeling was simply the drive you felt to achieve more. In a way, that may be true, but still I can honestly say I cheated myself out of the pleasure of that victory due to my perfectionism. 

 I guess my point in all this is, don't rob yourself of the little victories. Maybe you just signed a small contract that pays a small commission. Or got nothing but a small thanks from a client about a simple question they had. The thing to remember is, it's not always going to be a Kentucky Derby win. Each little victory builds upon the other to create something that while it may not be perfect, they can be something that is pretty close.     

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