How Brightly They Shine

Right now, I am one pitiful sight. I’m lying here with the laptop on my belly in my bummiest shorts and t-shirt with an ice pack on my forehead. I’d take a selfie, but that would be way too sad. But being the pitiful sight that I am at the moment, I’m still feeling pretty good. 

 To say I continually stay this way would be a lie, although I do wear ratty shorts a lot. What I really mean is my attitude. As I’ve mentioned on numerous occasions, I suffer from anxiety and panic. Throw in there my poor self-image and heightened health sensitivities, and at times you end up with a “pretty hot mess”. Needless to say perfection is not the first word I would use to describe myself. 

 So with those sad images plastered onto your minds (your, welcome), you would think I either mope around all day or live my life on auto-pilot as millions of others do. To that I’d have to say you’re partially correct. For a long time I lived my life on auto-pilot, and every now-and-then I do get mopey. So what changed? Why Am I pretty happy?

 Well, I guess I could say it’s the drugs and that might be “partially right”. Honestly I believe it comes more from a self-realization that I am more valuable then I first thought. That despite the outward self-created imperfections, I am alright. This is a lesson that hasn’t come easily; it’s taken me many, many years to grasp it. 

 To lay here and say this is something I discovered on my own would be deceptive, in that it mostly came from observing others in my life, others who even with their own “disadvantages” are doing quite well. That despite their labels of being challenged or less- fortunate, they live full happy lives loving others and being loved.  

 In closing each of us carries with us some weight of our own design or from others that tell us that we aren’t quite right. That no matter the talent or trait, we aren’t quite good enough. My hope is each of you discovers that special spark within yourselves. That unique gift the makes you special. The challenge is for you to discover that gift. So as you continue our search remember to look compassionately to those less fortunate. Because if you look hard enough you too can discover how brightly their light shines.  

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