Then the Panic Won

I recently told you that I suffer from anxiety and panic disorder. And among the things I write for on the web is a site dedicated to individuals with this same situation. Below is my most recent posting to that site. I thought that by reposting it here to a larger audience it may help someone who is silently dealing with the same issues I had for way too many years. Don't Suffer in silence.    

Good Afternoon. Well so far today has been an interesting one. At the moment I'm coming off a whopper of an anxiety attack, so as my heart slows down and light-headedness eases. I find it oddly strange that I'm typing and thinking reasonable well.

I guess after all these years of dealing with this thing; you sort of develop a funny relationship with the panic. It's like part of me says, "Oh God! Not another panic attack!", when another part of me is saying, "Seriously, this again, really", at the same time. Has anyone out there ever felt like that?

I guess the reason I am here is to journal this episode, to pack it away for another time to mull around in my head. Currently when dealing with panic, I find that talking it out with myself tends to lessen the impact. In a way it robs the panic of its power. It may not totally leave, but the aftershock is a whole lot lighter than if I ride it out full strength.

The secret is to let yourself know what you're feeling. Talk to yourself; realize it's not the end of the world and that this isn't your first attack or your last. Struggling against the current only pulls you under, by letting go you can float to the top of the wave. I personally don't swim, but that's what I heard.

Anyway to close, crisis doesn’t always spell the end. In my situation today, seeing the extreme difficulty of it doesn't mean defeat, as much as, needing a course correction. Panicking about something may happen, especially if you're prone to it like me. But it doesn't mean to stop living or to stop trying. Because when you do, then the panic won.

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