Wasn’t a Good Day

Yesterday wasn’t a good day for me. For one, I was carrying over some tension from a conference call a few days before. Then the realization that a new class was beginning this week (in a subject I suck at). Plus something I forgot to do sent my usually calm bribe into a tailspin (anyone have a spare doghouse). So to say by Saturday afternoon I was stressing would be an understatement.

Around 10:30 I made it to bed (was definitely thinking of keeping one eye open). But around midnight a good old fashion anxiety attack happened. First thing I usually do is think I’m having the big one, so I chewed a baby aspirin and got up. More than anything at this point in my life, living with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) is a bitch, there’s no other way to color it. Other than the tightening of my chest, the irregular bowel movements, irrational thoughts, and just plain fear; I end up getting mad at myself for not fighting this better.

But while searching the Internet of an answer (I own book after book on the subject, irrational thoughts folks), but then I had an epiphany via a website called anxietycoach.com put together by Dr. David Carbonell. On the site he mentions letting go of trying to control the anxiety and just letting it be. For a lot of you this may sound counter-productivity if not downright stupid. But the idea is to take away control the anxiety has over you by saying, “I see you, I know your there, and I accept it”.

I’m definitely not going to sit here and try to explain the whole process, Dr. Carbonell already done that. Still this isn’t anything new to me, it was just nice that my scrambled brain got reminded of the fact. Long story short, through practicing some mediation and having a non-judgmental look at myself (checkout selftherapy.org for that), I was able to calm down the stress in my head that was effecting me physically.  

I suppose my point here is, when all else can be ruled out, there are ways to tackle stress. The most effective way is by not running from it, but facing it. I never said it was easy but when faced with the confusion and terror of anxiety and panic every little thing helps.

 As an added note I wish to thank my brother-in-law and his lovely wife for taking this photo on Lake Sinclair near Milledgeville, Georgia.   

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