Stories - FD Thornton

Well, I spent about 8 hours asleep and now I'm sitting in front of my stock and trade, my computer keyboard. So what now? Normally, I start my day by checking emails and responding to messages. Then I may go to Facebook and checkout the family gossip, then start my day either working on my new book or creating blog posts. Today feels a little different; I don't want to go back to bed mind you. I'm just asking myself, am I doing enough? It's never a bad thing to re-access your situation every now and then. Sometimes without realizing it, we find ourselves in a holding pattern. Going neither up nor down, just sitting in traffic burning fuel. I don't want to say that's where I am at the moment, but you know. Sometimes life is not about the high it gives, it’s about the routine. We've programmed ourselves for so long to look for the highs, that we forget routine is the norm. Life is made up mostly of routine, but that doesn't mean its a total bore.

Good morning. Last night was a little rough had a kinda strange dream, but still I woke up and more or less ready to " hit the ground running ". After checking my sugar and downing my breakfast of champions (my medications), I went to Facebook to see how my family and friends are doing.  After years of being on FB you'd think by now I'd figured out most of the time it's nothing but a forum to spit out misinformation and opinion. Which is all well and good, but all I really want to see are baby pictures and how everyone’s aliments are doing. Why do family and friends feel the need to tell me crap they hear on the cable rumor mills? As a person that suffers from elevated levels of anxiety and depression, the last thing I want is more bad news from those whom I seek support. Not that I can't handle a certain level of bad news, I just consider FB a forum for sharing personal news; not stuff I'm flooded with 24/7 off my satellite subscription.  While I

Downtown Alamo, Georgia Even though I have an MBA money is not one of those things that motivate me. But I do live in the real world where fairies and magic dust can only be found for a price down in Orlando. My focus has always been the “little guy”, while my education focused on looking at things from 50,000 ft. I always questioned fairness of pure profit. In other words, putting people out of work may be sound business practice, but is it morally right?  As you can see I’m a pretty crappy business person, at least at the positions my degree aspires too. Still one of the other things my education inspired me to was having an innovative entrepreneurial spirit. Let’s face it manufacturing jobs of our fathers were few and far between. Big business is now a multi-national thing with manufacturing taking place overseas; and the only thing we’re left with is limited distribution and corporate HQ.  As manufacturing reseeded, so too did the other industries that benefitted from it. W

Good morning. There’s nothing like getting woke-up on a hot Monday morning like the muffed sound of a commercial grade lawnmower riding by your bedroom window to start your day. But it’s the price I pay for working from home, which still beats a hour and a half commute to a cube farm. Anyway I hope everyone's having a great Monday so far. Early last week I was expressing my excitement about starting back on my latest eNovel project titled “ Bloomingdale ”, #BdaleProject . But much like with most shiny new things, the new can wear off pretty quick. So what happens is the project you were so fired up about ends up becoming a chore. What you and I have to remind ourselves of is “the Devil’s in the details”. The excitement we felt at the beginning of any venture quickly can get bogged down in number crunching or scheduling problems. The thing is life is about getting things done. Rather it’s working late to meet a deadline, waking up at 2 am to change a diaper, or both, life is a j

Despite such a crappy start yesterday, the day turned out pretty good. I worked on the second draft of my latest eNovel Bloomingdale , and despite the 100+ degree temperatures; it ended up being a pleasant day after all. Funny how that happens, one day you wake-up all "bright-eyed & bushy-tailed"; yet the day turns out to be crap. Then you have a day where you wake-up feeling rough, you’re out of coffee filters, and there's nothing on the morning news but politicians rambling in incoherent soundbites.   Yet, after turning off the TV, using a sock as a coffee filter, and pulling up myself up by the "boot straps" and I ended up having a pretty good day. Weird right? Life is all about what you make of it.  Like that old saying, "some days are diamonds and some days are stone." The thing is when things go wrong, what are you going to do about it?  The key to beating a bad situation is to look at what you got and put to use what you have. You’ll get

Each and every day billons of people around the world get in their cars, take mass transit, or simply walk to the place where they work. For the vast majority work is just a job a means to an end. But for a fortunate few getting up every day is a pleasure and a joy, because they get to do what they love. When working before, even at jobs I liked; the posters and catchphrases you’d see on the breakroom walls really used to bring out my cynical side. I believe the reason why, other than I’m an ass is because I knew despite the sincerity of my boss, I was nothing then a replicable cog in the machine. Now mind you a bunch of people I’m sure don’t feel that way and that’s okay. We are talking about me. Right now I’m focusing on my creative side. I’m using my talents to create word pictures to inspire and inform my audience about things I see. I’m sure I could work on my focus and grammar a bit, but to tell you the truth I may not be very successful now but God I lover what I

Here in the US it's Father's Day a day set aside to celebrate Dads. Being the father of four and granddad of one, I've gotten my share of bad Father's Day gifts. Everything from socks and underwear, to gift cards to places I'll never go, to really cheap after shave. But my favorite gifts were always the cards they made while in school and the hugs, love the hugs. My own family growing up was not particularly "hands on" friendly. It’s not that we couldn't stand each other. It’s just that we were not "huggers" or overly affectionate. But something kinda clicked when my own children came into the world, I slowly taught myself to hug. But just to be clear, when I say slowly; I mean after 28 years I still have to remind myself to show some affection.  Anxiety and its by-product panic are kinda like a pressure cooker. As a kid I remember my mom used a pressure cooker a lot to cook and preserve (can fruit and vegetables). The thing that fascin

I suppose it’s time for me to get all sentimental about Father’s Day, but to be honest, I’m just not feeling it. Now I don’t mind getting sentimental about Mother’s Day; mainly because my wife being the polar opposite of me so looks forward to Mother’s Day. As for me on “my day”, I just assume it be another day. Some of you pretty much know I’m not overly emotional. It was definitely not a trait I was brought up embracing. Now that doesn’t mean I don’t Love my kids ( and yes, they’re still our kids ). It’s just that if you think a specific day has to be set aside to remind you to say, “I Love You”. Then maybe you’re missing the point. You see, nearly 30 years ago, I had a lifetime job placed upon me. It was the job of raising a child. For better or for worst Lisa and I woke up every day with the responsibility of feeding, and clothing, and changing four little dependent souls. Now I’m not saying this to say, they should be grateful till the day I die. What I am saying is being

Since the tragedy of the past weekend, I see that the pundits both left and right have been throwing in their two cents worth in. Also since the tragedy a good number of my social media friends, including me, have tossed out a wide variety of opinions on the matter. This is all well and good in America you are entitled to voice your opinion. Here’s the thing, no matter how many new laws we write or more guns citizens buy. If you cannot change the minds and hearts of people who believe violence is the only solution; every so often we are going to continue to see tragedies like this.  I’m pretty sure a pile of you are thinking, “De, get your head out of the sand. The only way to stop this is more gun control, or more guns in the hands of citizens, or banning all Muslims, or maybe nuke the Middle East.” Believe me I’ve read the comments. It’s kinda sad the tragedies like this ignite compassion for about five seconds, and then fire up the polarizing rhetoric for about a month. But the

Yeah everybody, the weekends over! I wonder how many of you feel that way this morning. I really don't know why I don't enjoy my weekends other than maybe they throw me off my usual routine. So Happy Monday! Anyway, I must admit the medication for the numbness is working. The feeling in my hand and face are coming back slowly. It's not that they don't work, they do. It's just they are numb. Other than that new health issue, the CPAP is really kicking in and I'm sleeping better than I have in years. Earlier on an health forum I subscribe to, I made a comment to a young fellow about how anxiety is such a trigger for so much crap. Anxiety can create both physical and mental health issues that can impede or even stop you from living. In my own life my self-imposed isolation help in tamping down the amber's of anxiety. But in reality is that a good thing or just a quick fix? Medication helps, but again is it just putting a Band-Aid on a bullet wound? So

Last night while asleep (?), I came up with a great posting. So I grabbed my tablet and jotted down my ideas. Needless to say since waking up, I’ve tried line after line to get those thoughts to come together, but I only ended up creating more gibberish than I started with last night. Not every idea that rolls out of your head is a good idea. A good example can be when a recording company decides to release demos or outtakes of artists. It may sound like a great idea, but in reality did the artist really want their missteps or screw ups to be heard by the world?   Even now I’m writing this as an alternative to what I thought was a good idea. The words for this particular piece first flowed from my mind, then after a gustation period I reread it and hopefully work out the kinks. But not everything turns out well, I’ve got a computer file full of stuff that is not meant for mass consumption. I only wished I’d figured that out earlier; some of my past work is quite painful to r

Well today was a bit more stressful then I planned. At an early doctor's appointment I learned that my blood sugar levels are on the rise. So she's changing my treatment plan with new meds instead of the old ones I've taken for years. At first I was a bit upset, mostly at myself, for allowing this is happen, but after a good nap my prospective has improved. I maybe someone who's willing to give new things a try, but I usually end up not liking the change. At the moment a number of things are changing. I restarted my CPAP therapy, brought a new bed, and starting tomorrow I’m taking new medication. You think I'd be excited, but honestly it really "bugs" me. I’m not saying this has anything to do with my attitude, but you never know. One common thread I think we all share as we age is dislike of change. Changes in scenery, changes in job position, changes in circumstances; it all makes us uncomfortable. Take my new bed for example, the old mat

I don’t think of myself as much of a softy, I suppose it’s my life experiences that make me this way. But lately my thoughts have been dwelling on the positives in my life. The fact that I’m breathing is one positive, the fact I didn’t have a stroke Saturday is another. Despite all the physical limitations that have been placed on me lately, my overall outlook on life is a good one. For whatever reason we seem to enjoy focusing on the negative aspects of life. Rather it’s predicting it will rain on our day off or thinking whoever the next President becomes will surely kill us all. We as humans seem to focus on doom and gloom. I’m no psychologist, nor have I ever played one on TV. But for some insanely silly reason I’ve had this streak of optimism I can’t shake, crazy right? But despite whatever odds that were stacked against me poor health, mental issues, supporting a large family, being a caregiver to challenged individuals; I’ve achieved goals such as graduating colleg

The last few weeks have been rather interesting. For one I finally could afford a sleep study and got my first CPAP machine in several years. Also since my little health situation last summer, I feel I’m finally on target with my health. I mention these things because in this work, work, work, run, run, run world we live in, sometimes pride keeps us from the help we need. Being a man it’s especially hard to express gratitude for anything. We sorta live under this “bro-code” where a grunt or a punch-in-the-arm is a sign of affection. While we are not known for our displays of emotion, it doesn’t mean we don’t care. The thing is over the past year I’ve learned showing a sign of appreciation isn’t that hard. Using the excuse that it makes us uncomfortable or that we just don’t have the time isn’t good enough. Expressing gratitude for something done for us isn’t sign of weakness either. I know way too many individuals that would not accept a hand simple because of the illusio

You know a lot of shit can happen in just two days. First off late Thursday afternoon, I received a call from the medical supply store telling me my CPAP machine was ready to go. So I had my daughter drive me the 40 miles trip to pick it up. (Told you I live in the boonies.) Anyway, been using it since then and getting used to using one again. So that's the good news.   Well Saturday morning I decided I felt good enough to take my morning walk. By the time I got back home I was out of breathe, my fingers on my left hand were numb and my face was numb. Needless to say, I panicked. Long story short, I ended up at the ER had test run, most everything important came up negative. So thankfully, I'm sitting here at home talking to you. The doctor believes it's that pinched nerve I had problems with a few years back. So I'm on bed rest till I see my doctor this week. Here's the thing about stress, for me at least when symptoms can't be easily explaine