So Much More Complicated


 

Just sitting here killing time until I have to leave for yet another lab appointment this morning. This is one I do every quarter to mostly check my iron levels and my WBC, which are both low…duh. My General Practitioner informed me yesterday that I was also due for another sleep study this year. And that it’s that time of the year my wife goes for her annual trip for a mammogram. So my near empty calendar is now slowly filling up till Christmas Time.

God knows why I’m telling any of you this shit. I mean each and every one of you have the same damn schedule with either your children or an elderly parent. So I know I am nothing special, just the average person juggling the ways of life in a capitalist society, between work and living. But isn’t it funny, how we live in a society where everything is supposed to be simpler, yet the whole thing seems so much more complicated?

It is now the next morning, and the lab work is already done. My wife’s in the bathroom throwing up the medicine she took this morning. Panicking as usual, while I try to get her to lay the f#ck down. I’ll check her vitals later, don’t worry, after all she went to the doctor yesterday. All that may sound heartless, but in a house where you are the caregiver, you’re not allowed to panic or let your mind go to wild places, for you are the one holding things together.

Sorry if the moral to this story sounds more like a boring egocentric journal. But some days that’s just how things fall. When you're left dealing with things yourself and there’s no one to vent to, other than yourself. But at times, life is much more complicated than you want it to be, so you do what you can do to survive.

#Confession #Testimony #AnotherDay #Detachment #Survival


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Contemplate Life

Image
 I sit here today, feeling and looking as disheveled as an old drunk from the wrong side of town. I guarantee my 83 year old father-in-law has more pep in his step then I do right now. As I chew up my two gummy vitamins the sun makes a quick appearance just to tease me like a fan dancer at a can-can show (Ask your great grandpa). With my body about as coordinated as a fish out of water, I think I’ll just sit here for a while and contemplate life. With the world as it is and me sitting here with nothing better to do than complain about it. I was forced to walk into a Wal-Jacked yesterday to pick up the stuff I mentioned in yesterday’s story. As I went to the self-checkout as I’m forced to do, the young lady working the area was in her own world. Not an expression on her face, just a sorta blank stare. I mentioned to her that I understood her solemn expression and all she could do was stare blankly back. As my wife and I walked out I noticed the same expression on every young emplo...
Read more

One Moment

Image
  I just popped my gummy vitamins into my mouth; they are the treat I give myself after taking my pills. In the distance I can hear an ambulance taking one of my fallen brothers or sisters to the hospital. Out here in the wild frontier of the slow moving South, we play by a different set of rules. Some of us listen to our doctors, while some of us don’t. Some of us hedge our bets against a Preacher or faith, while some of us raise hell till our dying breath.   Here in this house we’ve done a little bit of it all. Singing Hallelujah! While raising cane with the same breath. I’ve never professed to be a Guru or a Shaman or a Preacher for that matter. Even though I come from a long lineage of Christ following men. But the other side of my family also studied chakras and practiced folk magic. So I’m a mixed up product of all those things, wrapped up in a bag of loose skin and bones; with one foot Praising Jesus! And the other following Zen.     So you may ask, what i...
Read more

What It's About

Image
  Opening the windows to the bright sunshine this morning. There was still a layer of fog draped over the ground of the pecan grove next door. Earlier this morning while me and my bride get dressed, I usually glance at my phone to see if I had any messages from the night before. Among the messages was one in particular from a lovely woman who’s poetry I admire and have come to know. Mind you, I keep no secrets from my bride, and she knows the name of nearly every person I communicate with online. Well after reading her lovely note I flirted a bit and said, “All that’s missing was a photograph”. Which she sent a picture of her at her desk. I sent her back a note say, if any man didn’t appreciate waking up to that in the morning, they were a damn fool. Then I said, that I basically wake up every morning appreciating the woman I wake up with, and wished for her the same. Then, I assume to some of yours surprise, I showed the picture and what I wrote to my Bride. Which she in turn sa...
Read more