It Begins With Love

In searching to discover a solution for my internal struggles, I made an interesting discover. That a large part of my affliction was due to a lack of love given to myself. In the criticism that I've aimed mostly at myself, the damage I was doing has been far worse than I could have imagined. Each of us has some degree of self-criticism and to a point it maybe a good thing. But when that criticism is compounded by low self-esteem and abuse. You end up never feeling worthy of anything good that happens to you. 

 This cauldron self-loathing has cost me a lot, but at the same time it was this given to me a far better understanding of the things I can achieve, no matter the obstacle. Through sheer determination on my part, with this burden riding my back the whole time. I've done things in the last five or so years, that I never thought I could do in the first forty years. 

 And it all begins with love. The kind of love given to a child from a parent. A love that tells you it's alright, you're safe here. That you are loved. When mediating you focus on the present and when fears arise you have to face them, you can't push them down. With compassion for that fearful, abused child within, you love them and tell them you're safe. 

 But don't think that any of this is easy because it's not. There are days when the love just ain't there. It's on those days when you're drive and faith have to carry you. The point to remember is hiding the fear only strengthens the fear. So when the fear comes up, look that frightened one in the eye, and tell them it's okay.        

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