A Gambler

After another usual morning of going through my physical routine of just making it through to noon. I come back to my office exalted and tried before even turning on my computer. But as I have said on other occasions, you have to play with the hand you're dealt. 

 Fair or unfair, brought on by your actions or not, this is the way life is. Being chained to so many ailments and physical problems it would be easy to slip into the bonds of depression, which on occasion I do. Still, for whatever crazy reason there is something deep inside myself that refuses defeat. A life force that often reminds me you can make it. 

 You may ask where does this "life force" come from and how can I get it? Well as of now, I haven't been able bottle or package it in a pretty container and hock it on a shoppers channel for $ 99.95 in three easy payments, nor would I want to. What I can say about what drives and pushes me is that I believe it be a combination of life experiences. 

 Despite the negative upbringing, there were others in my life that gave unconditional love. Even some that heaped on the verbal abuse were often at times, kind and loving. Another point of creating the spark is my sometimes mixed-up religious upbringing. Here you can find good and bad points, and while some in those circles say "take it for what it says". That same "good news" they quote from demands you test and question the faith. 

 Quieting my noisy mind has also been a great discovery. Through meditation or prayer (however you want to perceive it) has become a great comforter in my dealing with what I'm been dealt. To center your focus on what lies before you, allows me to wholly focus on the situation at hand. 

 Now you may ask, has all this helped you become a better person? Are these the keys to living a fulfilled and happy life? My answer would be, I don't know yet. Honestly, I am still a work in progress, which I believe we all are till we pass. But when is that a bad thing, most spiritual text desire for it's followers to continue to grow and mature. 

 As a closing thought, calling myself a gambler. As I stated, you play the hand you're dealt. I love the game of solitaire. I play several times a day as both a mental exercise and to see if I can win no matter what's laid down. Sometimes the hand is easy and you can make a high number of points. Sometimes the hands are more difficult and while you may still win, you hardy score a point. Then more times than not, you simply lose.

 The point here is you played and isn't that what life's really about?   

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