Out With The Old...

Wow, It's 2015. A few decades ago when in high school we are discussing the future (turn of the century). And, of all the things we talked about the thing that blew my mind the most was that I'd be 38 in 2000. I know it seems funny now, but when you're 16, that's ancient, I'll never make it to be that old. 

 Since that time I've passed a few mile markers in my life. I lived through my 20's, married, got divorced, and married again (not to the same person, thankfully). Had kids, made to my 30's, moved to a another city. Plowed through my 40's, watched my children graduate high school, had a mid-life crisis, and buried my parents. Now I'm into my 50's without much fanfare, my kids are graduating college, and now making babies themselves.

 The old saying goes, "out with the old and in with the new". But when I look at the figures, It looks more like, "out with the new and in with the old". I guess that's how age works. One thing I wish I'd asked my parents is, as we grew up, did that make you feel older? Or did you feel like you did when you were younger?

 The reason I ask that is, despite being my age, I don't feel that old. I just feel that I'm hitting my stride, if you know what I mean. Yet in reality I've got children approaching 30 themselves. You'd think I'd feel more settled and established wouldn't you. Now in a way I do feel all those things, it's just I feel there is so much left to do.

 If these are good thoughts or bad thoughts, I can't really say. I mean I haven't lived them yet. Still my mind clings to the idea that there is much more in store. Now rather I'm clinging to some long lost notion that I should put down, I can't really say. I mean, I see my peers collecting stuff cars, boats, houses, etc, etc... Shouldn't that be my goal? To settle down and look at my stuff? 

 For one thing, I don't really have a bunch of stuff, not anything to ooo and yeah about anyway. Looking to establish a beach head for this conversation. I guess the point could be to never settle, to always look over the next horizon. Then again it can be, why rest at the place where you, after all a life lived is a life moving forward, I've always heard. 

 Maybe it's just safe to say, change happens. So being too clingy to the past can blind you to what's happening in the moment. While still worst, constantly casting your net into the future blinds you from enjoying what you already have. So be the moment, and Happy New Year. 

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