Stubbornly Proud

After taking care of some business this morning and going on my morning walk; I was sitting here thinking about a topic for this post. Another one of my morning routines is longing in on a website that I subscribe to for people with my conditions. Over the past few years this site has helped me in so many ways, with help, information, and a place to voice my victories and defeats. The reason I bring this up is to say no one is an island, and despite how strong we may think we are; at some point we all need help. 

Last year before my heart attack I was a stubbornly proud, independent, not wanting to depend on anyone. I mean there were so many people depending on me, I had to be strong. After finally a week of chest pain and difficulty breathing I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. If you’ve read any of my past posts on the subject you know my adventure well. From being someone who looked after themselves to needing help going to the restroom, was quite an adjustment. I had to learn to depend on others, I had to learn how to let go. 

Now for all the “alpha males and females” I know; I’m sure you’d grimace at the thought of letting go. But the reality is life’s all about giving up control. Just last August in the same hospital I was later taken to, I had to sit helplessly while my youngest daughter went through the pains of giving birth. For me it was different than the time I stood by her mother, this time is was our baby having a baby. Meaning I had to let go and trust that the little cheerleader we raised would and is doing a good job. 

My point is having control of everything is no guarantee of success. No matter how well you dot your I’s or cross your T’s, we all loss control at some point. So all I’m saying is have faith in those you love. And don’t be afraid to let go and let someone else drive.