Tolerance

Puʻu ʻŌʻō Eruption 1983 - USGS.gov  

My tolerance for outside pressure is not what it used to be. So after a day where I’m pushed a lot mentally or physically, I usually have to take a break. Yesterday was one of those kinda days. Where what should have been simple tasks ended up taking way more time and effort to get done. It’s not so much that I’m complaining or bitching about any one situation. It’s just a fact in my current state that I don’t contain pressure like I used to do. 

Years back to be honest, I wasn’t much better at handling pressure either. My reaction to pressure back then was to bottle things up, kinda like shutting off the release value. And if you’ve ever dealt with pressurized gas, that’s not a good thing, because at some point something’s gotta give. But that’s how I did it putting up a stoic face no matter the situation. I suppose it was something I taught myself to do with all the bullying and verbal abuse. 

But a while back that tank blew, and since then I have left gluing the damn thing back together. I don’t say that to make it sound like a lost cause, but more a work in progress. I believe much like someone with an addiction, you take things one day at a time. Meaning that some days are good and then some days just aren’t. It just happens that today’s a recovery day. After a crisis my pressure build-up may release, but at some point I have to step back and catch my breath, like I am today. 

I don’t really know why I’m telling you this other than to say. All of us have a boiling point and once that point is reached, the pressure value goes off. I currently find my release in quiet time, mediation, and music; yours maybe through exercise or prayer. The point is, in this crazy warp-speed world we live the pressure can build and build. So instead of looking for relief in things like alcohol or violence; look for constructive ways to release the tension. Before the value goes off and your left with a hell of a mess.