Watching Them Grow

I helped raise four children, two girls and two boys. My girls are independent and strong. They have very different personalities, but they’re smart and fiercely loyal. My two son’s, well one has special needs the other doesn’t have that excuse. Still they are both smart young men that do what I ask them to do. I was not the perfect parent. If you know me, you know my backstory and my struggles. But my focus here is not about me, instead what I’m curious about are the expectations we place on our children.

For decades I was criticized and scolded for my parenting skills. I either didn’t work hard enough or wasn’t hard enough on my children. I gave them too much free rein over their own lives. But you know what, most learn from their own mistakes. Without digging too deep into my children’s lives, they made mistakes. But they became strong independent people, and I like to think we had a small hand in that.

Because life is what you choose, but oftentimes that choice is taking from us, either by words or deeds. My kids didn’t grow up with much. But that hasn’t stopped them from creating their own successes. Hell, in many ways they have surpassed me and their mother, and I couldn’t be prouder. I always told them, “Can’t never could”. Even as my own mental health spiraled out of control. I told them you could do anything.

The words that come out of our mouths mean something. Lord knows I loved my Mom and Dad, but some hateful shit sometimes fell off their tongues. And believe me, I said some of those things myself, being a bullied child of verbal abuse. I suppose the most important thing I can tell you is, mind what you say. Don’t abandon family, and at least live your life trying. That’s all any of us can do. Then maybe, just maybe you too will be blessed, like I have watching them grow.