What It's All About


I have turned down the bed for the evening and put my toys away. With nothing now but my phone acting as a typewriter and some ambient music playing over my earbuds. Life is more than just notes on a scale, it’s about connection. Connection with the people around us, connection with nature, and even connection with ourselves.

It’s scary to push yourself beyond your comfort zone. So today before I went on my walking meditation, I looked for every excuse not to go. It’s too hot, the sun’s too bright. I don’t like this new walking cane, I’m too out of shape, I might get dizzy. All legitimate excuses with legitimate answers.

Still I pushed myself to get going. Awareness of mind can be a scary thing. It can take you down roads you just assume avoid. But if you listen compassionately to the fear and to the emotion, you might free yourself of the chains which can bind you. I used to worry about so many things. I’d plan and I’d scheme all day just to reach that pot of gold.

But you know what, there ain’t no pot of gold. Oh, you may acquire a treasure if you try hard enough. But honestly what have gained? An old Bible verse says it well, “what good is it to gain the world, but lose yourself” (paraphrased). Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I lost the dreamer, the creator, the artist. And replaced him with a machine that lost all emotional connection, with myself and everyone around me.

So I had to push myself back to those uncomfortable places to find my way again. So you may ask, is my journey complete? Far from it. Or you can ask, do I have all the answers? I sure as hell don’t. But what I do have is a place where I can center myself and find the peace I so longed for, and isn’t that what it’s all about?

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