Patience to Read

After a several years of speaking my mind, I feel myself closing back in. Like maybe there’s nothing more left to say. I see friends across social media moving on with their lives. Yet I feel awkwardly stagnant, sorta like that U2 song “stuck in a moment”. So I lay here hungry, but not passionate for anything. Just here, unsatisfied with whatever I see.

Mood swings are all a part of my routine. Panic Disorder leaves me yearning for sameness, while my physical condition limits my reach. Expectations I placed on myself have slowly eroded to vague fantasies of some wishful grandeur. But I’ve learned better by staring into the blackness of 4am.

I suppose I should end this pity party on a bit of a “high note”. I guess being honest with yourself is a lot better than lying to the world. And that silence is often your hearts way regrouping after a bad day. So I guess I’ll just continue to breathe and type my unfocused non-sense. For anyone that still has the patience to read.

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