Keep Me Sane

The alarm just went off, time for my 7:00 medicine. It’s a routine I repeat four times a day. 14 pills in the morning, 2 pills at 3:00pm, 5 pills at 7pm, and for a nightcap 2 more pills. 23 pills in all, all created to keep me alive and hopefully keep me sane.

I don’t mention any of this to brag or to garner any sympathy. It is what it is, me paying penance for my sins. Listen don’t be so melodramatic with your replies. It’s all just “tongue in cheek” around here. The fact is most of our troubles point straight back at ourselves. Oh I know some things aren’t are fault, but eventually we are the only ones that can correct it.

I’m a survivor, I’m not planning on dying anytime soon. So I fight. I listen to my doctors, I listen to my therapist, I listen to myself. And none of these individuals want me to die. So I pop my pills. Oh I complain and I whine about it, but it is a fact of life.

I think the thing that weirds me out the most, is watching someone die by a thousand tiny cuts. They don’t watch their diet, they smoke, and they don’t push themselves mentally or physically. They are just there. I watch these people carry on with their miserable lives, complaining but never doing. Don’t be that way. Find a goal, a purpose. Do something positive. Stop living a life with this victim’s attitude and do something about it. 

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