A Moment to be Happy

Can you ever gather back lost moments, while you were living out other plans? I left my former life some 27 years ago. Across the river was not only my history, family, and friends, but also a big piece of my personality. I left it all determined to make my mark, to be somebody. But after 10 years of bashing my head against the wall, something cracked. So I ended up achieving nothing, with four hungry mouths to feed. It took me another 10 years to feel like my head was back on straight, then I had my physical collapse. So here I am, a little wiser, a lot older, and a much weaker man than I used to be. Instead of amassing that fortune I’d promised myself, I’m poorer (money wise) now than when I first started.

Writing that sentence, kinda makes me laugh. Not in any cynical way, but because of the irony of it. That’s because I discovered money and fame are nice, but they are also fleeting. That real satisfaction can only be achieved through hard work and focus on what’s really important. We often overlook the little things when working on large scale goals. Things like family and personal satisfaction. It’s like a “not seeing the forest for the trees” kinda thing. Where I was so consumed by doing and doing, that I never took a moment to be happy.

I was always looking over the next hill, never appreciating what was right in front of me. A great example was me worrying and fretting over my youngest daughter’s first pregnancy. She would be giving birth to our first grandchild. I’m not going to lie to you, this knocked me for a loop. I was worried she wasn’t ready, that her then fiancé wasn’t ready, hell I wasn’t ready. But after learning to slow down and appreciate the little things, like being healthy and less stressed. I learned to let go of the fear and just be. Life takes us through many phases, and hell, this phase maybe my last. But that doesn’t mean I should stop. It simply means that I breathe in and breathe out, and take each moment as it comes.